Random Mundane Daily Life Blog Entries

Probably the saving grace of living in Japan. Home burglaries are just not a thing. If I lived in the free west, in a free standing house, I'd constantly be bricking it that there is fuckall bar civil decorum stopping some CUNT just walking right up through the yard, smashing the window in, and marching right into the living room and saying just give me all your shit cunt because I fucking want it now.

Taking this thread title very literally. I can't even believe I did this. Had a couple brewskies, got all fired up and decided that RIGHT NOW! as of last night I was going to list some turds on the scogs. I've been sitting on these forever; I don't even really want $, I just want them to go to a good home and I'm too lazy to go to the post office.

They sold immediately which means I was generous with my pricing, I undergraded too, these babies are definitely better than VG. So now I got ants in my pants FINISH THE JOB!!! and uh oh! What has 2 thumbs, 50 7" mailers, but 0 LP mailers? This guy!

Now I've gone and created my own additional mess from "have to go to post office" already boo hoo, to "have to find 2 LP mailers." WTF.

I'm an idiot.

I mean, this is an option. I've received records in absurd packaging. Cardboard box and duct tape? Could happen.

But the whole kind of program here is to make this easy on myself, which I've already horribly failed at.

Well I sold Dow Jones and the Industrials DLP. The best 3 songs on the 7" and "Can't Stand the Midwest" in particular are just lovely, absolutely wonderful. This DLP? 1 play, done. Also I guess it came with a DVD that I lost, which is unlike me. So I freaked out and tore my place apart and found all my old, super old, CD binders, went through there, wildly distracting, all sort of stuff from when I lived in Japan, it has the Cateno Veloso CD that I guess came with LP I bought, so I know myself, that is totally where I would have put this stupid fucking DVD, but it ain't there, so anyway, that was $30.

Dust. Both LPs. Marc Bell before he was Marky Ramone and not really a bad couple of hard rock LPs but I just never listened to them. I think $30 each was very fair and to save 1" of shelf space and also have $90 seemed like a good move. AND I was like OKAY I know people, trust me, I'm cool, I can get record mailers, and, humblebrag, I'm not even fussed about the money. If It's $10 postage but I blow another $8 being lazy with mailers WHO GIVES A FUCK BUTTTTTTT I have to actually physically go get the god damned mailers.

I'm cool, as I was saying, there's a record shop about a mile from here, of course I know the guy -- I'm cool. So I text like "Hey I never buy anything but hey bro you sell mailers?" He does. I'm like TIGHT. Problem SOLVED. I'll be over.

Hold up chief -- closed Tuesdays.

GOD DAMNIT.

I just want this task checked off the "to do" column and into the "done" column and I have to sit on my ass and eat 24 hours before I can buy stupid official LP mailers because I think that's easier? And then I go to PO.

MEIN KAMPF bitches.

A day correcting & grading uni entrance essays. The topic; "Regular Bullying vs Cyberbullying".

"Bullying is so baaaaad", rinse repeat.

For once I'd like to see one of these gutless fucks own their national pastime. 

Would love to write the sample essay for the uni entrance essay guide on this topic:

Regular Bullying vs Cyberbullying

"Regular bullying versus cyber bullying? Oh cry me a fucking river you softcock cunts. It's in our blood, our DNA, in every fibre of our being. Ingrained in our national psyche from kindergarten, indentured through school, honed at college, perfected in the office, up through the boardroom, and, if we excel at it enough, the ultimate reward for the Japanese Master Bully, the apex predator of the hierarchical halitostical hail of hate, yes, the prize all We Japanese aspire to, the golden ticket for our Willy Wonka Island of Denigration, acceptance into the guild of Japanese TV Talent regulars.

"Cyberbullying vs Regular Bullying". LOL. Go fuck yourself. If you're not adept at either of these traditional Japanese art forms you may as well hand in your Japanese passport and go live in GaikokuLand. Go on then. Fuck off. You clearly don't know what it means to be a proud Japanese Son of Yamato.

This just in; if there is another Japanese national in your vicinity they are either above you or below you on the hierarchical bullying pyramid. You don't know which it is? Well, you're definitely below then aren't you. Fucking junior kohai cunt. Get me a fucking drink. Then report back here so I can give you an excruciating public shaming, I'm thinking ritualistic humiliation in the form of a naked slapping on the dojo. Then you assume the position and apologise profusely for causing such an inconvenience to my slapping hand. Chop chop. First though, it's a green tea thanks cunt and be smart about it. Fucking loser." 

Sometimes your boy needs a little mischief. I can't just work, eat healthy, exercise, and that's it. Usually I will turn to alcohol, as I did yesterday. Light day drinking, at show (bar) that night. One thing led to another. The bartender asked me to wear my mask while sitting and drinking at the bar. I dislike Trump as much as the next guy but come on, this is over. You checked my vaxx card and my city has lifted the mask ordinance. Also this is a joke item. Unmask, sip, mask back up? No one has actually been doing this the entire time. Well apparently I started bitching and moaning about that, which no one liked, then my wife was giving me a nice lecture on the way home which I apparently did not take kindly to at which point I suggested driving the car into a pole and killing us both to get it over with already.

Fortunately, this idea was vetoed but, not winning points here.

I'll be paying for that all week, at least. And it's been a pretty glum day here around Camp.

Sparks tonight and in my not very cool neighborhood to boot. This is the first time there has been something we want to do within walking distance.

I got inspired and made a FB event to invite people over before the show (seemingly everyone from my counterculture past is attending, even a St Louis contingent). And I thought why not, let's invite the band.

To be clear: I did not think this would work. And it didn't.

But to make it a sincere offer I did e-mail management offering to honor a $1500 rider.

I would have done this; $1500 to have the Mael brothers take me up on an absurd offer would absolutely be worth it.

To my surprise, I did get a response, declining on the grounds of COVID. That was very nice of them to write back.

Also the band has put out a heartfelt message to attendees to please wear a mask the entire time.

Astute readers my recall I get a little unmasky sometimes or mainly when hammered out of my mind.

I get it! These are super old guys and they're doing a tour and would like to continue to play shows vs be really sick and vulnerable and I will comply BUT I don't have to like it!

I'll likely have earplugs in (30 years of loud bands has not done my hearing any favors), a mask on, which fogs up my glasses, so basically I just feel like a disconnected alien.

Nonetheless!

There is a fun event nearby and I will be attending and enjoying.

Disclaimer: I know that this is a joke title and I'm not actually supposed to treat it as my personal blog. But here we go.

I don't regularly text too many Japanese bros but one guy, we just clown around and send each other nonsense. He sent over a quick snapshot of his walk home, crossing a bridge, slight light of general Tokyo reflected in the water up onto the blooming cherry blossom trees.

My wife and I always go this time of year because, fucking hanami.

So I wrote back and was just like wow, I miss that.

He said this is 夜桜, which I've studied just enough to get. Yoru, night, sakura, cherry blossoms, cut and combine and modify the first letter of the 2nd word, yozakura, a specific word and kanji for cherry blossoms at night.

Made my day. I really miss that kind of thing.


Insightful response, Sprague. Re-adjusting to tipping is absurd. It's very easy to get used to not doing it. I just had to mentally disconnect. Great, dinner, 2 drinks, tax and tip, $120. Sure, why not.

Dude you can't leave the house for $22 here. Well done!

Last summer we had carpenter ants and I mean a TON of carpenter ants. Maybe you're thinking wow a gross pile of writhing things in a corner, no, the entire front room which is the size of a 6 tatami apartment COVERED with the fuckers WITH WINGS but THEY DON'T FLY which is like... thank you? I mean it would be worse if they did fly but they just glisten in the sun and guess what the exterminator solution is? Yes, LEAVE THEM. Do not kill or clean them up. Because they need to roll around in the poison and bring it back to the nest.

Now, we already did this, and it was as awful as it sounds. And now, they're back.

I found a little guy and my brain said what it wanted to hear "Oh, no problem, that's a dead one from a long time ago," Nope, saw an alive one moments later, then looked around and found a half dozen others.

This is way better than last summer when I mean, thousands?

But not good.

And what the fuck am I paying this exterminator company $170 for 4x a year for? They're like "Well for more money we'll do this other stuff" and I'm like what the fuck kind of company charges me $680/yr for service that amounts to "Well, probably, you have less ants than if you didn't pay us this extortion?"

YOU HAVE ANTS AND BABIES AND GUNS NO ABORTION JUST ANTS AND BABIES AND GUNS USA!

Great minds. I texted our neighbor who is an interesting lady. A stereotype of an older red-haired Irish Chicago cantankerous retiree, she's great. She didn't get back to me yet. Our neighbors on the other side I would say are drug lords, but smart enough to keep it out of their house. I mean 24/7 these dudes are outside doing a thing with a car. They have a garage and 100% does not open 90% because someone lives in it. Hey, it's tough times all over, I'm not particularly judging that, although I guess I kind of am. But you have a garage definitely without a car, and then 3+ cars on the street that you are CONSTANTLY fidgeting with. I've finally concluded this is a "plus" in the safety column. If you were a stranger doing a crime, you would not do it on the street where there are 3 dudes loitering 24/7.

Above average 5-0 presence in my hood. I have concluded: police cars are a joke. Now if I were a cop, would I want to get off my lazy ass and walk "the beat?" Hell no. So I get it. But presumably the line is "Well with cars we can respond to crime real fast," but obviously this is a comedic premise. So personally I've concluded it would be very helpful to have cops actually walking around. But also fuck the police. I dunno. I'm all mixed up these days.

So to answer your question "5-0 never cruises by," they do, but being outside and playing with a car is not illegal -- YET. (will have to wait for Trump's 2nd term?)

There is so much weird stuff if you think about it. Here in Chicago we have a K-9 unit. I've seen them get on the train with a dude and a muzzled dog. What exactly is this supposed to do? I've never seen the dog start freaking out because it discovered cocaine or a sex pervert. (Lucky for me.)

Very responsible of you to see that the poo is accounted for one way or another. Big issue here, signs all over. I think at the park it says $50-$500 fine for a poo (it specifies dog but I feel human would be more frowned upon). This is a funny range. I'd love to be a part of the determining process. Is it by weight? Anyway I am sure this has never been enforced and is likely unenforceable. My dog did a poo now you want $500. Good luck, this is America buddy.

Update on carpenter ants. I think I subconsciously meditated and figured it out.

Upon initial discovery I went to town and even before the exterminator revisit grabbed some ant poison I noted father in law had left in the garage and sprayed the main floor main point of entry -- no more ants there.

Camp Leader informed me this poison is for EXTERNAL USE ONLY and I realized ah, that's the problem.

We're pussies.

The exterminator place keeps mentioning how the inside poison is safe for children and pets well guess what, we have neither, time to get the fucking job done with some good old fashioned 1950's strength American grade POISON.

Swept all the fuckers out of the basement and blasted the breach-zone with "outside only" chemicals.

Bet we live to tell about it, and I bet the problem is solved.

USA!

Lordy! We had a substitute cleaning lady today and before she left, she tried spraying some insecticide air spray shite. No, nope, sorry, we eat our bugs here m'am...

Do any of you have feelings of familial guilt associated with living abroad? I gotta say a good part of why I moved home was "family." Some portion of that is external and real and some amount is certainly exaggerated and actually my own problem.

We went out to grandpa's house when he was on his way out and I was too young to get what was going on and the show "Hoarders" didn't exist yet but there we were, all being good Irish Catholic Midwesterners not addressing the elephant in the room, or perhaps more specifically the piles of newspapers and flowerpots and shit piled waist high that you had to navigate through to move about the house.

Same thing with my aunt. Detached 2 car garage with 0 cars but a pile of trees, debris, bicycles, I mean literally just a 12 foot high pile of garbage.

I've done those 2 digs/rescues -- there were probably more. Not discussed. Do not confront, no intervention. Just find out how you hire a professional portable trash compactor truck to come and everyone silently chips in and cleans the shit out, until, it happens again, or you die.

Pretty grim but I'm just relaying the facts.

So here we are again. My mom is out with her sister whose life is an unmitigated disaster and let me say she balances this with an acerbic level of humor I have never seen anywhere else, professionally or casually.

We're at a restaurant for a family thing and she's like "Be sure to tip that waitress really well." Now I had noticed this young hotty in short shorts, I'm like "glimpses, .3 seconds max." Anyway aunt follows up with "So she can afford some shorts that go down a little further." I mean, she's on it.

She is not doing well and it's all coming home to roost. Her kids don't want to deal with it. My mom, her sister, doesn't want to deal with it, and my aunt, herself, physically cannot deal with it. So her place is a fucking mess, the washer don't work, name it, this is a lifetime of hard neglect now combined with old age, physical decrepitude, and financial ruin.

My brother and I have been bracing for this funeral for like 30 years. I hope this isn't it but I dunno my mom trying to hide emotional distress is a thin premise and... well why did I move home? I'm not doing anything to help with this. It's not a problem I can fix. I'm just technically closer which I guess is mildly relieving?

Amazing. I feel like if I've confined 1991-1999 (my life, band, flyers, zines, letters) to two bins, that is acceptable, and I feel like if the amount of records I would like to purchase is "infinity," that's also fine. It's categorized, organized. It's "stuff" that scares me, although I can't necessarily logically defend my position. "I have 75 pairs of shoes" well I want to say this sounds insane but "No, that's the $1 soul box" seems rational to me. So hey, give everyone a break. This is genuine advice to myself and everyone else.