Welcome new poster

You chose to do this in public, which is not particularly brave. The thread renaming is a reminder that inability to control your emotions, which is precisely what your decision to have your public meltdown showed any guy on here, is going to have consequences, plus I find what you wrote remarkably funny.

Men here on planet Earth are expected by other men not to show their emotions. If you want emotional men, then visit a prison. Those guys will take your grievances quite seriously. Fuckface put it to you straight. I am okay with your falling apart in public. You aren't okay with the consequences of your public meltdown, as you continue to feel sorry for yourself.

I don't give a fuck about memes. "Held my tongue for a month with my opinion of Beta's memes" made me laugh today. You didn't hold your tongue. I knew that you couldn't fucking stand anybody doing a single thing in your clearly delineated territory.  I also know that you don't like all sorts of things on here that us other guys post. And I don't care what you like or don't like so I riffed on a few things while working on some technical editing skills. When you made your psychic pain known, I deleted what had made you into a fucking mess of emotion. 

I do care about photography, though.I have heard people say brutal things about specific photographs I have created. Photographers I know and respect very much. I didn't have the luxury of worrying about "me" and "my feelings" so I got better at lighting, layouts, and other aspects of photography that you have no interest in. Fair play to you, be yourself! However, don't imagine that I care what you say about photography because you have nothing to say about it that would help me IRL. My objectives are not yours.

Your "criticism" is that you don't like how it makes you feel. You don't know fuck all about photography. You know even less about photo editing. You have nothing to say about what matters to me. I am not angry about anything that I know about, which considering I am grieving my wife's death would be fairly apparent considering how emotions can be at such a time. I deleted the stuff that seemed to make you express your pain in public hoping that would end your fit of whatever it was/is. I did leave my interpretation of what I thought you were doing by leaving your own site in a composite photograph. Why? Because I like to remind myself that despair is not to be rewarded in myself or others. Crude behaviourism, but not a bad rule of thumb. 

You see, I had already created a composite photo depicting your seeming despair that somebody could have a different way of doing things in the thread on September 4 or 5.. It is still there. I didn't delete what matters to me, but you haven't quite thought that through yet, have you? You didn't ask yourself why are there still certain photographs there.  I had already shrugged off your opinions, which your silence spoke volumes about, long before your public declaration that we just don't pass your muster. I waited to see whether you would address your problem with me privately. You didn't. A wise person would apologize to the other people on here who did nothing to your perceived injury of your self, but so far you are still going on about your deal and lashing out at us like we aren't real people with actual lives so we should be overly concerned with your feelings about something you claim knowledge about (what I am doing with my time and photo editing skills). You never deigned to ask me a thing. No, you are all wrapped up in your own judgments of being some sort of misunderstood artist.

You are an understood and ignored internet content creator, which is the fate of most people, according to you? If so, no big deal. Why bring somebody else into your psychic pain about needing a thick skin? Seriously, do you really believe that? I have bears and coyotes around my house at night right now because of the season. Fuckface is in Africa, which is a fucking tough place to be if my experience is any indication. Somebody doesn't like something I created for myself and put here to see whether I can see the improvements in using masks in a computer program. Who fucking cares? Not me! I have to concern myself with actual life or death matters.

You had a meltdown, it seems, and want other people to give a shit or you could have contacted me privately. That isn't a mistake. You had a month to plan exactly how you were going to deal with your feelings. We all carried on. I had an inkling of what was going on and made my comment on it on September 4 or 5 in a photograph. Nobody on here got it, or at least they kept quiet about it if they did get the reference. You missed the point of it, but how couldn't you? In real life, I have to know what I am doing with such composite photographs, not what makes you feel good about your photoessays or running this site or whatever.

I changed my photo editing program this summer so have been learning it. I used Adobe Lightroom and Photoshop in the past, but switched. I can see the progression in what I posted. You can't. You only see some kind of threat to your precious aesthetic ideas from what I have read. I learned something in doing the photographs for a thread that I started. If anybody knew something about photo editing, I would have heard from them, as some of things being done were mentioned by me. To get better at the program and with masking in the program was my goal. I also improved my knowledge of the perspective filter and the text function.

What is your goal after a month to mull over your hurt feelings? It seems that your goal is criticism to make you feel better about your inner self, your life, your photoessays, your suffering, and your need of public acceptance of those things that "beta", a fucking internet persona of all things, had done something different to what you want to do. You reached at least one of your goals. You are now a critic, who knows fuck all about photography and photo editing, looking for a sympathetic audience. You are on record that you held your tongue for an entire month about something nobody else gives a shit about on this site. Nobody is happy that you have lost your shit, but everybody else could see that I was just doing my thing in my silo. You couldn't let it go. Still can't! It is a fucking personal wound to you that somebody did to your beloved characters what you have done to anything that you felt like mocking. All this talk of being thick skinned is comical. You can shit all over what I created. It isn't personal to me. You have misread the room, perhaps. It wasn't personal for anybody else, not even me and I was posting the fucking things. They were simply items that allowed me see my progression. I could delete them easily. There was no artistic value or commercial value in them for me. They were part of a process, not part of me as a person. Even the stupid one that depicted what I had assumed you were doing isn't a big deal. It can be defaced by anybody. This site is part of the internet. It's part of using the internet to having things defaced. Do you actually think that you have a monopoly on being shit talked in the art world? I performed with Sir Peter Ustinov as a child. I can remember his mocking the choir I was part of. The choir was good, but we were a useful tool for a joke he was making. No problem. We had another performance to get ready for.

You wanted me to go ballistic, though. You still do, or you wouldn't have written that nonsense above. You have been goading me to do so. You keep writing about this. Yes, I am replying to you. Why? It's not for you, because you don't care what anybody says about anything. This entire site is centred around that very principle. I have known that for a long, long time. This reply is for the other members to refer back to when you have your quarrel with them.  

I didn't go ballistic as you have imagined, not even the death of my wife would push me in that direction as it would sully everything that she held dear about me. You have interacted with me for a long time. I wish you the best. Living in Japan is fucking hard at times so I have some idea where your protectiveness about this site comes from. It is a refuge for you. It is also a refuge for me for different reasons, but I have  no plan to burn down my own rather small silo here. That you chose to focus on my silo here and let it get to you is your business. Ban me. I don't care. It's your site. 


Chris from Let's Japan was planning with Al from Let's Japan to do something to or about my ex-wife. I never got the full story. I didn't go ballistic then. However, I did stop interacting with Chris. It was Chris's wife who put an end to Chris and Al's plotting. Chris was a self-professed alcoholic. Not much to recover there so I left him to drink himself to oblivion. I didn't know Al in real life. If you want to relive the lives of your ghosts, whom you have referenced over the years, and stamp out other people's harmless fun on here, then you will do so. I'll be in my silo, doing what I do. I am not you. I don't think like you. I don't interpret the world like you do. I don't interact with other people like you do. The evidence of that is right here on your own site, yet you have never noticed it seems.

One thing that really did catch my eye is how you just made up things in your initial blow up post. I had commented in the movie section or TV section while you were not on here, but you are  so blind in your rage that you didn't see that. I don't watch movies often now, but I do visit those threads because I admire the dedication of the person who keeps it going. I use it as a resource for the odd night when I watch a film. I am grateful for it. I am also grateful for all the guys are on here.They know a lot about many things. 

You know, I thanked the right person on here for getting me into sourdough bread. You weren't here for that, either. Of course, you didn't see that in your rage. Your site helped something really good happen in this world for another person. I would think that you would be pleased about that. You are choosing to be miserable instead. You are choosing to have worst-case scenarios about me and, much more sadly from my perspective, others working their asses off and taking time out to come here and add to the place.

I have stayed in my silo here for a long time. Yeah, I am going to rename the thread so you can see the consequences of losing your shit. I can laugh at all the shit that I have caused for myself. If you can't laugh at yours, well, you will, most likely, pull the plug on this refuge at some point. It wouldn't be the first time.

"beta" is a reference to the whole "Alpha Male" shit going on. In reality, I am, more likely, a "sigma" person. So are the other guys on here for the most part, which means that they will never post regularly. After five minutes in a room, guys have sorted themselves out into competence hierarchies and make fun of one another but will help a brother out. In five minutes, women will pretend to be friends with all the other women in the group only to stab each other in their backs later. Why mention this? We can choose to accept our places in the competence hierarchy here or not. Feelings are not what govern most men. No, competence reigns supreme whether we like it or not. Feelings have nothing to do with it.