Post by Sprague Dawley on Apr 7, 2019 4:39:05 GMT
Life (2017)
Life, wft, this is Death.
Total Alien ripoff here. Haven't these brainiac astronaut scientist fuckwits seen Alien? The major motion picture? Why bother making exactly the same fucken movie again? FFS, if you've got a microscopic petris dish with a little martian microbe cunt dancing around in it you don't give it a cuddle and yammer on with the "oh isn't it cute" bullshit when OBVIOUSLY within minutes the fucking thing will be a space Kraken motherfucker from hell feasting on your bewildered entrails then toodling off to terrorise the rest of your spaceship. "Heyyy, he was so cute a minute ago..."
Fuck this shit, I actually gave up on the film 30 minutes in after the first astronaut got Squidy McMarscunt right down his cakehole. Dead in seconds. Not watching the Kraken octopii freakazoid get exponentially bigger while chasing you genius space wallies around your doomed fucken space ship. You tried killing him with fire (they named the little shit "Kalvin". FFS, his name is KRAKEN) and that just made him angrier. That's it, i'm out, fuck this shit. Someone tell me how it ended. Let me guess, Jake Gesundheit is the only survivor by virtue of becoming chatty pals with the surprisingly highly intellectual Squidy McMarsmurder who, it turns out, just wanted to be loved. Then Jake sidled up to his newest space pal and slyly stabbed him right in his squidy groin gristle, roll the credits.
Life, wft, this is Death.
Total Alien ripoff here. Haven't these brainiac astronaut scientist fuckwits seen Alien? The major motion picture? Why bother making exactly the same fucken movie again? FFS, if you've got a microscopic petris dish with a little martian microbe cunt dancing around in it you don't give it a cuddle and yammer on with the "oh isn't it cute" bullshit when OBVIOUSLY within minutes the fucking thing will be a space Kraken motherfucker from hell feasting on your bewildered entrails then toodling off to terrorise the rest of your spaceship. "Heyyy, he was so cute a minute ago..."
Fuck this shit, I actually gave up on the film 30 minutes in after the first astronaut got Squidy McMarscunt right down his cakehole. Dead in seconds. Not watching the Kraken octopii freakazoid get exponentially bigger while chasing you genius space wallies around your doomed fucken space ship. You tried killing him with fire (they named the little shit "Kalvin". FFS, his name is KRAKEN) and that just made him angrier. That's it, i'm out, fuck this shit. Someone tell me how it ended. Let me guess, Jake Gesundheit is the only survivor by virtue of becoming chatty pals with the surprisingly highly intellectual Squidy McMarsmurder who, it turns out, just wanted to be loved. Then Jake sidled up to his newest space pal and slyly stabbed him right in his squidy groin gristle, roll the credits.
