Japan Junior High English Textbook.

More useful than the actual lessons I used to teach.

The most surreal one for me was an entire lesson on "will" and "am going to." I was very green and a student asked the difference. I thought for a second and said "No difference." Oops. Entire Japanese explanation in textbook on the VERY IMPORTANT DIFFERENCE!

If you already have a plan you say "am going to." If you are receiving new information or making a realtime decision you say "will."

Nikkeisindex: Look at those schoolgirls over there!
Sprague: Wow, I'll go grope them!

Nikkeisindex: Look at those schoolgirls over there!
Sprague: I know, I'm going to go grope them!

Think about it, it works. Pretty much. Made my brain feel weird anyway.

Surely the J's realise that as native English speakers we didnt have to learn the language by studying all that parts of speech and third person gerunds and non reflective past participle word order bollox.

Just have a yak to whoever as little pricks then go to skool and do some reading comprehension exercises then hey presto sensei, we speakin the engrish rill good.

Obviously the locals learned japper-go they same way.

Ingressive future aspect is hard to "teach", but we WILL understand it when we hear it. Not sure non-native speakers would give a shit, though. 

It's worse when you know what it is and you know the fact that it will not be understood until years of actually using the language to create meaning. As hard as it is for people to accept, students really do need to speak to others in the non-native language and get a feel for whether or not they are being understood. Teachers are, as far as I can tell, wasting students' time going over written grammar while asking students to talk, which has its own grammar for the most part. Sit back, let the students talk, and encourage them to use what they know, listen to other students, and, for crying out loud, don't worry about "mistakes" or "errors". The cries about "What about the test?" are always answered with a comment about reality: "In reality, you either are understood in English or you are not. That is the test." The rest of it is for teachers to look like they are providing the right input. Burned out? Get Beta on speed dial. I burned out years ago. Teaching is creating the conditions for students to get on with what they have to do to do their own learning. Teachers, the good ones, get out of the way and let the motivated students do what they want. The shite teachers tell people what they can and can't do.

All false modesty aside; I was born to teach Engrish

LOL



japantoday.com/category/national/japan-jr.-high-kids-average-12-correct-answers-in-english-oral-test

More than 60 percent of the students evaluated could not answer a single speaking question correctly

Thought this might be a fun lesson idea for the dolly birds at skool (they fuckin love the word "yabai") BUT having a cunt of time printing this out. The fuckhead colours roger everything up. Tried switching it to black and white but that fucks up the resolution so bad you can't read the cunting words. Someone must know something