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Post by Sprague Dawley on Jan 8, 2021 12:13:53 GMT
Lesson 1.
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nikkeisindex
Email Address: pneumatic_arse-bludgeon@gunston.com
Posts: 407 
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Post by nikkeisindex on Jan 8, 2021 16:26:41 GMT
More useful than the actual lessons I used to teach.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Jan 9, 2021 1:22:31 GMT
Lesson 2.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Jan 12, 2021 22:00:15 GMT
Lesson 3.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Jan 13, 2021 11:43:41 GMT
ahh, good old Japan... Hopefully I gave this drongo an F-.  |
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Jan 13, 2021 23:31:09 GMT
Lesson 4.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Jan 15, 2021 11:40:42 GMT
Lesson 5.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Jan 15, 2021 22:39:39 GMT
Lesson 6.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Jan 17, 2021 7:49:07 GMT
Lesson 7.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Jan 19, 2021 0:41:30 GMT
Lesson 8.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Jan 19, 2021 0:44:38 GMT
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Jan 19, 2021 6:16:17 GMT
Graded accordingly. Firm but fair, that's my policy...  |
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Jan 21, 2021 23:04:10 GMT
Lesson 9.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Mar 22, 2022 23:12:56 GMT
wft turns out I dont know English so good.
I always thought the adjectives order went opinion then size then body bit.
eg "big beautiful nose"
small delicate feet
long attractive legs.
Now I get a textbook telling me that aint so,
"Delicate small feet"?
Attractive long legs?
Really?
Fuck!
Now I dont know Engrish!
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nikkeisindex
Email Address: pneumatic_arse-bludgeon@gunston.com
Posts: 407
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Post by nikkeisindex on Mar 24, 2022 15:02:30 GMT
The most surreal one for me was an entire lesson on "will" and "am going to." I was very green and a student asked the difference. I thought for a second and said "No difference." Oops. Entire Japanese explanation in textbook on the VERY IMPORTANT DIFFERENCE!
If you already have a plan you say "am going to." If you are receiving new information or making a realtime decision you say "will."
Nikkeisindex: Look at those schoolgirls over there!
Sprague: Wow, I'll go grope them!
Nikkeisindex: Look at those schoolgirls over there!
Sprague: I know, I'm going to go grope them!
Think about it, it works. Pretty much. Made my brain feel weird anyway.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Mar 24, 2022 22:48:30 GMT
Have read that 3 times but dont care enough to try to understand. FML. Whenever kids ask me shit like that I'm all "well, it depends how you use it" and quickly try to distract them with example sentences or some bullshit until they go away. Fucked if I know buddy. I still have to look up what a pronoun is.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Mar 25, 2022 4:49:15 GMT
Surely the J's realise that as native English speakers we didnt have to learn the language by studying all that parts of speech and third person gerunds and non reflective past participle word order bollox.
Just have a yak to whoever as little pricks then go to skool and do some reading comprehension exercises then hey presto sensei, we speakin the engrish rill good.
Obviously the locals learned japper-go they same way.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Apr 15, 2022 23:44:52 GMT
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Aug 17, 2022 1:16:04 GMT
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Aug 31, 2022 0:57:46 GMT
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beta
raging moran
Neophyte
Posts: 1,008
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Post by beta on Aug 31, 2022 23:43:57 GMT
The most surreal one for me was an entire lesson on "will" and "am going to." I was very green and a student asked the difference. I thought for a second and said "No difference." Oops. Entire Japanese explanation in textbook on the VERY IMPORTANT DIFFERENCE! If you already have a plan you say "am going to." If you are receiving new information or making a realtime decision you say "will." Nikkeisindex: Look at those schoolgirls over there! Sprague: Wow, I'll go grope them! Nikkeisindex: Look at those schoolgirls over there! Sprague: I know, I'm going to go grope them! Think about it, it works. Pretty much. Made my brain feel weird anyway. Ingressive future aspect is hard to "teach", but we WILL understand it when we hear it. Not sure non-native speakers would give a shit, though. |
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Sept 1, 2022 0:01:33 GMT
Ingressive future aspect is hard to "teach", but we WILL understand it when we hear it. Not sure non-native speakers would give a shit, though. My entire pedagogical foundation and "career" (LOL) is based on non-native speakers lack of inquisitiveness. Once they start asking questions I will quickly be found out. "Please, please dont ask me about the 'ingressive future tense', I dont have Beta on speed dial for this kind of shit..." |
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beta
raging moran
Neophyte
Posts: 1,008
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Post by beta on Sept 1, 2022 0:10:32 GMT
Ingressive future aspect is hard to "teach", but we WILL understand it when we hear it. Not sure non-native speakers would give a shit, though. My entire pedagogical foundation and "career" (LOL) is based on non-native speakers lack of inquisitiveness. Once they start asking questions I will quickly be found out. "Please, please dont ask me about the 'ingressive future tense', I dont have Beta on speed dial for this kind of shit..."It's worse when you know what it is and you know the fact that it will not be understood until years of actually using the language to create meaning. As hard as it is for people to accept, students really do need to speak to others in the non-native language and get a feel for whether or not they are being understood. Teachers are, as far as I can tell, wasting students' time going over written grammar while asking students to talk, which has its own grammar for the most part. Sit back, let the students talk, and encourage them to use what they know, listen to other students, and, for crying out loud, don't worry about "mistakes" or "errors". The cries about "What about the test?" are always answered with a comment about reality: "In reality, you either are understood in English or you are not. That is the test." The rest of it is for teachers to look like they are providing the right input. Burned out? Get Beta on speed dial. I burned out years ago. Teaching is creating the conditions for students to get on with what they have to do to do their own learning. Teachers, the good ones, get out of the way and let the motivated students do what they want. The shite teachers tell people what they can and can't do. |
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nikkeisindex
Email Address: pneumatic_arse-bludgeon@gunston.com
Posts: 407
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Post by nikkeisindex on Sept 1, 2022 23:45:35 GMT
Ingressive future aspect is hard to "teach", but we WILL understand it when we hear it. Not sure non-native speakers would give a shit, though. I agree. I think these lessons came from back when AEON was too cheap to hire real people to make their textbooks so they made their teachers come up with "whatever."
One of the worst ones, that was for sure way too hard for anyone at this level was 4 verbs which I may or may not remember. I'm not gonna get them. But one example was "Stop."
I stopped to smoke. I stopped smoking.
I stopped to buy wine. I stopped buying wine.
I think this was created to prey on Japanese paranoia about a small alteration that would make them sound stupid and misunderstood in English?
Bear in mind there were 3 more verbs, all similarly pedantic and your boy was sent in to make it fun for 50 minutes.
Disaster, moronic.
They would also push us to create "bonus lessons" which first of all couldn't be in any of the books (which, as illustrated above, covered pretty much any possible topic you could think of) AND were to be useful, and interesting, and fun.
Eventually I made my own version of the Yamanote Line theme and coerced students into doing the WGCI birthday bash. Great lesson because you can kill the first half explaining zodiac signs. This was on the radio a lot in Chicago and usually featured hyper over-excited 13 year olds.
WHO'S THIS ON THE BIRTHDAY LINE? IT'S [NAME] IT'S [NAME] AND [NAME] WHAT'S YOUR ZODIAC SIGN? IT'S [SIGN] IT'S [SIGN] AND IS TODAY YOUR BIRTHDAY? YES IT IS, YOU KNOW IT IS AND HOW OLD ARE YOU ON THIS DAY
I'M 14!!! I'M 14!!! GO [NAME] IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY GO [NAME] IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY!!!
Useful?
Questionable, but once I realized you could do pretty much anything with a straight face and if the students said they enjoyed the lesson you were untouchable, I ran with it.
I re-read this thread from the beginning and laughed a lot. Excellent work.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Jan 30, 2023 3:27:59 GMT
All false modesty aside; I was born to teach Engrish  |
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Mar 7, 2023 8:08:19 GMT
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Aug 3, 2023 22:43:33 GMT
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Aug 5, 2023 22:28:11 GMT
wft turns out I dont know English so good. I always thought the adjectives order went opinion then size then body bit. eg "big beautiful nose"
small delicate feet
long attractive legs.Now I get a textbook telling me that aint so, "Delicate small feet"?
Attractive long legs?Really? Fuck! Now I dont know Engrish!  |
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Aug 22, 2023 1:58:28 GMT
 Thought this might be a fun lesson idea for the dolly birds at skool (they fuckin love the word "yabai") BUT having a cunt of time printing this out. The fuckhead colours roger everything up. Tried switching it to black and white but that fucks up the resolution so bad you can't read the cunting words. Someone must know something |
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Dec 29, 2023 23:01:27 GMT
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