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Post by Sprague Dawley on Mar 27, 2021 2:50:56 GMT
Pitch me a film. The more details provided, the closer YOU will be to getting the green light for your film venture. I'll go first, shitheads. Working title: "Dong Jinhao was here... in Wuhan".Genre: Either slapstick comedy or chilling horror, TBD Premise: a melding of nypost.com/2013/05/28/ding-jinhao-was-here-brat-chinese-teenager-carves-name-into-3500-year-old-egyptian-relic/ and www.businessinsider.com/former-cdc-director-redfield-coronavirus-leak-wuhan-lab-2021-3In light of former CDC chief now saying the virus didnt emanate from the Wuhan wet market but instead was walked out by a Wuhan lab tech, this is the film that has to be made. Brutally-Honest Meeting Room Pitch to Film Execs: "Everyone wants a reason to hate on China right now so let's cash the fuck in with the zeitgeist and strike now while the iron is hot, you fucking ponytailed arseholes!"Location:  Lead Actor: Tom Cruise? Brad Pitt? Get fucked. To play the clown that wrote "Dong Jinhao was here" on the ancient Greek shit or whatever that was about there is only one choice to play Dong, now grown up as an idiotic lab tech; yes, that backstabbing asian bastard from Silicon Valley.  Trailer Line: "Of course I wash my hands before I leave virus lab, you fucking asshole. You a racist. Fuck you".
-------------------------------------------- This film will make me rich as shit. Let's hear your ideas then, even if they are not as awesome as mine. ps calling the OP a "fucking racist cunt" is **STRICTLY PROHIBITED** in this thread. |
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Mar 28, 2021 22:10:34 GMT
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Post by Ladyfingers on Mar 29, 2021 3:40:53 GMT
David Cronenberg directs James Woods and Peter Weller as brothers running a pool-cleaning company competing for the affection of international luminary Tilda Swinton vacationing at the resort they maintain.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Mar 29, 2021 5:11:43 GMT
David Cronenberg directs James Woods and Peter Weller as brothers running a pool-cleaning company competing for the affection of international luminary Tilda Swinton vacationing at the resort they maintain. Who is the baddie here? James Woods too obvious? Wonder what he's up to these days after being cancelled by the WankyWokeySphere Genre? Soundtrack? |
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Post by Ladyfingers on Mar 30, 2021 5:38:45 GMT
David Cronenberg directs James Woods and Peter Weller as brothers running a pool-cleaning company competing for the affection of international luminary Tilda Swinton vacationing at the resort they maintain. Who is the baddie here? James Woods too obvious? Wonder what he's up to these days after being cancelled by the WankyWokeySphere Genre? Soundtrack? No baddie, although possibly Tilda Swinton. Definitely a comedy. Soundtrack is just Kokomo playing over and over again. |
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Apr 21, 2021 4:59:03 GMT
Working title: "48 Hours In Real Madrid Time" Genre: Suspense (Gripping) Premise: The 48 hours of turbulence around the failed soccer Euro Super League launch. Brutally-Honest Meeting Room Pitch to Film Execs: "These billionaire arsehole motherfucking soccer team owners just got their goddamn fat cunt arses handed to them with ALL the cocks still stuffed up in there. Did you hear me? All the motherfucking cocks still sticking out of their still-bleeding rectums! Freshly-severed cocks jammed up billionaires arses, their faces turning purple as they stammer for breath, now who the fuck is not going to want to see that? WHO?? ANSWER ME, YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!"
Location: From the boardrooms of sunny sperm-stained Spain to um, that little stretch of pavement just outside Stamford Bridge in Chelsea. Lead Actor: Tom Cruise playing everyone, including reprising Les Grossman as both the Glazers.  Trailer Line: "Temporary pain for some limey old fucks in Hackney is a small price to pay for us all getting rich as shiiiiiiiiit".
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Post by passportsworkvisas on Apr 22, 2021 9:25:37 GMT
The FBI takes notice of a string of murders across the country involving people with the same, rather uncommon name. A field agent, conveniently a chick, is assigned to protect the last living man in America with that name. The agent and the man fall in love, but in a shocking twist, the agent comes to discover that it was THIS MAN who, after discovering through social media that he wasn't as special as he had assumed, had killed off the rest of his kind. The film is titled: Namesake: The Ballad of Niraj Rubenstein.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Apr 22, 2021 12:33:05 GMT
The FBI takes notice of a string of murders across the country involving people with the same, rather uncommon name. A field agent, conveniently a chick, is assigned to protect the last living man in America with that name. The agent and the man fall in love, but in a shocking twist, the agent comes to discover that it was THIS MAN who, after discovering through social media that he wasn't as special as he had assumed, had killed off the rest of his kind. The film is titled: Namesake: The Ballad of Niraj Rubenstein.  This sounds like it could really happen! (the film not the actual premise iHomo) |
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Post by Death Proof on Apr 23, 2021 21:18:50 GMT
Elias Koteas and Christopher Meloni play brother detectives living in Soho who attempt to solve a murder in this film noir. Their suspects are two chefs who are brothers as well but own competing restaurants, portrayed by Jeffrey Dean Morgan and Javier Bardem.
Directed by Dan Gilroy
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Apr 23, 2021 23:26:31 GMT
Hopefully this guy gets butchered in the nuts. |
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Jul 23, 2021 22:13:20 GMT
Working title: "The Corona's Are On Me".
Genre: Action
Premise: The year is 2034 and the USA is unable to get more than 60% of its citizens Rona vaccinated due to false information/nutjobs etc. The subsequent increasingly virulent strains are slowly wiping these dopes out anyway but the US govt, led by President Johnson (Dwayne) loses patience and decides to "finish the job" by bringing in the military to inoculate the final few millions of resistors with pfizer-loaded tranquilizer guns. Let the hunt begin!
Brutally-Honest Meeting Room Pitch to Film Execs: "It can't fail! It's just one 3-hour long video-game safari hunt. Plus both sides can root for their guyz! Anti-vaxxers get their underground resistance types, the rest of us can see anti-vaxxers get hunted down like wild livestock! Are you AIDS-faced cunts even listening to me? Ching ching motherfuckers!"
Location: The sweep starts along the length of the US/Canadian border and pushes down, door to door, hand to hand, down, down, until it finally gets to the Mexican border where the lasting remaining limping insurgents are pushed into the Rio Grande.
Lead Actor: The Rock.
Lead Military Actor: Rictus Erectus
Trailer Line: "Take your fucken sweaty disgusting bloody facemasks and try your luck in Mexico, hombres! The Corona's are on me!" (Rictus)
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Post by Death Proof on Jul 24, 2021 18:05:57 GMT
Hopefully this guy gets butchered in the nuts.
You give me a couple of million to produce this and I'll personally drill him in the nuts with a garden weasel.
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Post by Death Proof on Jul 24, 2021 18:12:04 GMT
Anus: The Movie
Kevin Spacey stars as proctologist Dick Assman, who gains the ability to shrink down to half an inch tall thanks to an accident involving radioactive butt lube. He uses his newfound powers to crawl inside rectums to look for polyps or cancer or undigested Big League Chew.
Directed by Bryan Singer
Tagline: Spelunking was never this exciting!
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Jul 24, 2021 21:43:56 GMT
Anus: The Movie Kevin Spacey stars as proctologist Dick Assman, who gains the ability to shrink down to half an inch tall thanks to an accident involving radioactive butt lube. He uses his newfound powers to crawl inside rectums to look for polyps or cancer or undigested Big League Chew. Directed by Bryan Singer Tagline: Spelunking was never this exciting! Japanese title option: The Yellow Brown Brick Road To Shawshank Redemption. |
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Aug 24, 2021 23:27:57 GMT
Working title: Oceans 14 Millimetres Genre: Racey rooting dark comedy/prison break Premise: www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2021/mar/18/toxic-chemicals-health-humanity-erin-brokovichBrutally-Honest Meeting Room Pitch to Film Execs: "It's 2055, you fucks. Human reproduction levels have plummeted to 1%. Everyone's cock is busted to shit... except for the last 1% of spermers - of course the mega hunks like Pitt, Cruise, Clooney, etc. This stable of 1 percenter stallions are confined to Alibaba Reproduction Labs in China where they're forced to root as many chinese birth hatches as they possibly can in order to sustain the future of the human race. China then sells the babies for exorbitant sums worldwide. Japery ensues. Very, very sexy japery.......until the lads concoct a cunning Oceans 11 style plan to escape the facility and flee China!"Location: China Lead Actors: Cruise, Pitt, Clooney, Matt Damon, all the Hemsworth's, The Rock, etc Trailer Line: "Hi honey, I'm home!"
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Oct 16, 2021 1:10:06 GMT
Working title: Judith vs The Amoeba. Genre: Zombie Apocalypse Premise: Walking Dead offshoot following a group of small children around. These little kids are the antithesis of Judith and her cheery chums of chance (who they pick off one-by-one during the first season) and are all feral as fuck and all have hilarious cases of potty mouths. They call themelves "The Amoeba". Brutally-Honest Meeting Room Pitch to Film Execs: "Look, everyone's sick of those dudley-do-right little shithead kids on The Walking Dead. In reality they should be brutally feral little savages by now. Not the perfectly-comported, angelically-mannered little fuckheads TWD shoves down our cocks every Sunday night".
Location: Hotlanta. Soundtrack: nihilistic hardcore punk. Adolescents, Brainbombs etc. Lead Actor: the wee portly chap from Jojo Rabbit and a cast of little cunts who look like the feral lad on Mad Max Thunderdome movie  Trailer Line: "Cry now cry later you fucking pussy" (some 4-year old).
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Aug 9, 2022 7:29:52 GMT
Working title: "Who Killed Ivanka?"
Genre: Murder Mystery
Premise: Exploring the death of Ivanka and who pushed her down the fucking stairs that fateful night just before her scheduled deposition against ex-hubby Donnie Drumpf.
Brutally-Honest Meeting Room Pitch to Film Execs: "Everyone either hates Donnie or loves the fat stupid arsehole so let's cash the fuck in with the zeitgeist, TL/DR The Orange Shitler is box office gold, you fucks! Green light this shit quick cos the fetid corpulent cockcunt could drop dead any motherfucking second."
Location: Mar A Lago, baby
Lead Actor: Some nobody blonded up to look like SNL Alec Baldwin's Donald Trump.
Supporting Actor: Mike Ehrmentraut (Better Call Saul) as the Fed who digs up Ivanka's Mar A Lago grave and finds the smoking gun of documents to cook Donnie stuffed in her mouth
Trailer Line: "I didn't know the gun was loaded I mean my push I mean the stairs I mean FUCK, someone call Rudy RIGHT NOW".
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Jul 16, 2023 23:38:29 GMT
Working title: Ministry of Self
Genre: Orwellian farce
Premise: Hollywood actors trying to reclaim their identities in the face of studio-approved AI shenanigans.
Brutally-Honest Meeting Room Pitch to Film Execs: "Listen, you ponytailed rayon-clad arsefucks, we take the piss out of everyone in this one, it's a win-win you motherfuckers. We lampoon the Hollywood dickhead stars, we lampoon the greedy bigwig studio wankers, we lampoon the dopes who watch this shit, how have you not rubber-stamped this motherfucker already and why am I still talking? HOW? ANSWER ME."
Location: huge foreboding buildings named "Ministry of Self", "Ministry Of Identity" "Ministry of Self-Worth", "Ministry of Unclaimed Identities", etc
Lead Actor: all AI likenesses of megastars Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt etc
Trailer Line: "Please report to The Ministry of Self to register your likeness."
"But...but first the Ministry of Identity won't let me in the building without my Registered Likeness card."
"Please report to the Ministry of Unclaimed Identities to apply for a Ministry of Self lanyard bearing your likeness."
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Post by fuckface on Jul 17, 2023 1:13:48 GMT
Working title: "tow truck skank fight"
Genre: sexploitation
Premise: two teams of well hot endowed racially diverse post apocalyptic two truck skanks fight it out over salvage rights to mad max movie cars.
Pitch to Execs: hot chicks with big tits in hot trucks...fighting!!!
Location: namibian desert
Lead Actor: any hot young pam grier lookalike we can find
Trailer Line: biff!! bang!!! boobs!!!!
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Jul 17, 2023 2:08:07 GMT
Working title: "tow truck skank fight" Genre: sexploitation Premise: two teams of well hot endowed racially diverse post apocalyptic two truck skanks fight it out over salvage rights to mad max movie cars. Pitch to Execs: hot chicks with big tits in hot trucks...fighting!!! Location: namibian desert Lead Actor: any hot young pam grier lookalike we can find Trailer Line: biff!! bang!!! boobs!!!!  |
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Sept 23, 2023 0:51:39 GMT
Working title: "The Asimulator"
Genre: Sci-fi (TV series)
Premise: A few decades from now some nerds will have worked out how to download all our memories into something called a Neural Flux Capacitor (NFC). From there the memories will be uploaded to a cloud platform called The Asimulator.This will allow us to live forever, neurologically, in a platform setting of our choosing. The server space for all humanity for all eternity has been philanthropically bequeathed by a Gates/Zuckerburg type.
A murderous role-playing video game, Super Mario Kart, a simple green field, a never ending wordle, we can choose anything. The problem is, once we choose one eternal future, we can't chop and change.
OR CAN WE.
Unbeknownst to only a tiny group of individuals, a wormhole, a glitch in the code, has appeared. Follow the often hilarious consequences as random individuals find themselves suddenly plunged into different settings at the most inopportune junctures.
Brutally-Honest Meeting Room Pitch to Film Execs: "You fucking stupid arseholes, if you don't greenlight this cunt for 22 episode runs, for a minimum of 20 seasons, you will go down in history alongside the blind fuckwits who didn't notice the 9/11 cunts not bothering to learn how to land at Aviation School. Make it happen you ********"
Location: The Asimulator
Lead Actor: total randos
Trailer Line: "Ass simulate my cock and ballz"
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Nov 12, 2023 7:13:30 GMT
Working Actual title: Yellowstone (the actual tv show) season 6 plotline
Genre: Cowboys and Injuns
Premise: the ranch is so fucking big that, by cloak of darkness, over a few months, some brazen Native Americans build underground bunkers in the middle of nowhere on Waterworld Kevvie's land and start living there. They then claim some arcane Indian law which says squatters rights blah blah it's legal in our culture for us to live here now. Cue Cowboys and Injuns battles for last half of season. Guns. Bow and arrows. Whoopin' and a hollerin'. Kevin Costner gets scalped. Oh dear! That'll leave a scar!
Brutally-Honest Meeting Room Pitch to Film Execs: "This fucking show has run out of steam with the same bullshit storyline every season, it's time to get away from the soapie Dynasty meets Sopranos bullshit and embrace whats its always been; cowboys vs injuns! Tomahawk my cock and ballz, kemosabe!"
Location: distant secluded corners of the 76 billion hectare ranch
Trailer Line: "This is for dances with wolves on our field of dreams Kevvie you cuuuuuuuuuunt!"
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Post by Ladyfingers on Nov 17, 2023 10:57:29 GMT
Working Title: A History of Leaks
Genre: Documentary Premise: Talking heads cut with photos and video sourced from celebrity nude leaks.
Brutally-Honest Meeting Room Pitch to Film Execs: We're putting a "thoughtful spin" on celebrity smut leaks so that we can sell tickets to see the best celebrity smut compiled in one easy sitting. The Blu-ray comes with chapter skips for all the talking bits and a soft jazz alternate soundtrack.
Location: A series of celebrities' lavish homes. Trailer Line: How could you? Here's how. |
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Feb 17, 2024 7:56:58 GMT
Title: Cocktail 2
Genre: alcohol
Premise: Remake of the 80's Tom Cruise movie except this time starring a CGI Andre the Giant as the bartender. He skulls every cocktail he makes. Bar patrons are too scared to complain about never getting their drinks. The whole bar is mostly silent. It's a silent film really.
Brutally-Honest Meeting Room Pitch to Film Execs: "You fucking wowsers. What's the point of even being alive if you dont want to get vicariously wasted with a CGI Andre the Giant?"
Location: bar
Trailer Line: "Oops, I did it again."
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