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Post by Sprague Dawley on Jun 12, 2021 22:57:51 GMT
Big dirty Jezza is back in the saddle again! 40K lambo tractor!
 The early noughties called and want all their casual racism, sexism and homophobia back please! Don't you just love it! Well, the Guardian don't: www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2021/jun/11/clarksons-farm-review-jeremy-the-ignoramus-rides-againWhy am I not surprised the reviewer looks exactly like this?  The disdainful funless sneer. According to the comments section she only gave the "Chernobyl" series 3 stars because she found it "confusing"................. Now I WANT to see the new Jezza show in the hope it proves this anti-fun toff wokechild wrong |
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Post by Ladyfingers on Jun 15, 2021 9:46:33 GMT
The only member of the old Top Gear crew who hasn't made anything very good since they were fired is Hammond. Clarkson and May have a really good sense of comedy and even if their stuff is low-key it's a pleasure to watch. May's "The The Reassembler" series, just him screwing old consumer goods together for twenty-odd minutes is incredibly pleasant time in front of the TV.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Jun 15, 2021 9:56:52 GMT
May's "The The Reassembler" series, just him screwing old consumer goods together for twenty-odd minutes is incredibly pleasant time in front of the TV. It totally is. Mellifluous voice + self-deprecating humour. |
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Post by Ladyfingers on Jun 15, 2021 10:01:34 GMT
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Post by Ladyfingers on Jun 15, 2021 10:07:00 GMT
The thing I find funny about the hatred of Top Gear/Clarkson by the Guardianistas is that they utterly misunderstand that he's supposed to be a useless, blathering pillock. That's why he's funny.
When I watch him interact unscripted with the less glamorous people of the British Isles, and even foreign countries, he seems to genuinely get along with them. Maybe that's why the chattering classes hate him so much.
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Post by Ladyfingers on Jun 15, 2021 10:09:28 GMT
May also did a nice series called "Cars of the People", which has sadly been scrubbed from YouTube. First few episodes are great, as he discusses the development of truly affordable motoring that nearly always seemed to be a product of horrifying regimes.
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Post by Ladyfingers on Jan 13, 2022 13:06:59 GMT
This is great! Clarkson is pretty genuine and likeable here, and it's genuinely funny and interesting watching him negotiate the horrors of farming regulation, flooding, the pandemic and so on.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Feb 7, 2022 8:47:02 GMT
Still yet to scab a stream of this. Idiotically, I bought big dirty Jezza's BOOK the other day. For $1. Probably total rubbish... yet still pantheons better than the twitter literatiii alt-authors and their pretentious word dadaist hipster drug porridge.  Holy crap, 2004, damn near 20 years ago now. So odd to think that.. Woah, didnt know that. Let me guess, they went too far doing somethign or other... Or dropped a massively un-PC clanger.... |
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Feb 11, 2022 9:54:48 GMT
Watched 1st ep. First impression; just why Jezza. Why the hell are you doing this. So much financial expenditure on equipment. Plus the actual boring-as-shit shitty farmwork. You're an old man not exactly bristling with energy. Where's the payoff. He should be spending his dotage dicking around with, what I presume, is his MASSIVE fleet of awesome luxury cars. Or slapping and tickling with that megaspunk blonde trophy girlfriend.
He must be rich as shit. Issume the land is paid for. Must be some other options for all that space. It is fucking huuuuuuge. Carving out some sort of looped rally/race track in amongst it and hooning around seems like it would be more stimulating for him.
Surprised he's pushing 60. Thought he was pushing 60 twenty years ago. Maybe its the flabby jowls.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Feb 11, 2022 12:46:40 GMT
Jezza's good humour and ready quips have headed south fairly quick. Understandable given the torrent of shit he has turned his erstwhile wonderful rich life into.
Gerald the fence mender. Wft. I caught about 3 words from each sentence he said.
I'm thinking now an utter, utter dogshit tinpot private golf course. Just plonk some tee markers down anywhere, lay a big ol roundish astroturf rug a few hundred yards away from them, put it straight on top of the grass, a few pegs to hold it down, bash a wee hole in the middle, cup goes in, and away ya go. No maintenance, no fairways. Fucking hard course. You can keep doing the farming shit right around it if you want.
C.C.C.C.
Clarkson's Cotswald's Country Club.
Invitation only.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Feb 15, 2022 3:03:17 GMT
Shopping episodeThe shop {Spoiler}closed down after 1 day haha. WFT happens to all them potatoes now ffs.
Clarkson casually mentioning to Caleb he'll just tweet out about opening day of his shitty farm shop on the middle of nowhere to his 7 million followers. Cue hoary great long line of cars. Wonder how much Amazon Prime paid him for this show. Bet its a fuckload more than he makes on his farm for selling wheat for 3 pound 50 a fucking tonne
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Post by Ladyfingers on Feb 15, 2022 4:08:57 GMT
He actually shows his books at the end of the series. The result is surprising to say the least. Clarkson became something of a hero to the farmers of Britain after this series.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Feb 15, 2022 4:17:53 GMT
As for my brilliant and liberating ideas about turning the land into a racetrack or a homemade golf course, as seen by the arsery involved getting a simple roof approved or even permission to use your own fucking gate, the UK zoning and bylaws bullshit would quash that shit quick fast. They seem insanely bureaucratic.
Quick google and turns out Jezza paid 6 million pounds for the farm.
My guess was about 100 million ffs.
It is HUGE and it is in the posh-as-fuck Cotswalds ffs
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Feb 19, 2022 23:12:49 GMT
Couldnt believe those sheep fleeces were {Spoiler}
only worth 30p each. FFS Jez, just keep them, have them cleaned up a bit (a lot) and use them at home as rugs or something. Wall art. Luxurious! I was sure those things sold for 100's of dollars back in the day |
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Feb 20, 2022 11:50:34 GMT
Poor Caleb, {Spoiler}
felt really sorry for him, having to leave the shire for the first time in his life to drive around London trying to sell Jezza's fucking wasabi. Then gets 200 pounds worth of parking tickets and doesnt sell the stupid shit anyway. God, farming is dumb. Caleb is really in his element there though |
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Feb 21, 2022 11:38:33 GMT
He actually shows his books at the end of the series. The result is surprising to say the least. Didnt see that bit. {Spoiler}
ffs he slaved away for a year for a profit of 144 pounds? Just why Jezza.
Also, harvest day, he had 9 months to learn how to back a trailer. 9 months to actually sort out where to put the crops once he got them out of the ground. That bit had to be staged. Key question now is how much did Amazon pay him for the show |
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Apr 4, 2022 11:49:06 GMT
Season 2 has the green light.  |
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Jan 17, 2023 2:51:40 GMT
LOl Amazon Prime to bravely distance themselves from Fat Guts Jezza........ after the new season airs. Jezza and his 150 mill of Amazon $$ will be distraught  |
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Feb 10, 2023 23:22:06 GMT
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Post by Ladyfingers on Feb 15, 2023 12:32:46 GMT
First 2 eps of season 2 are great. The chilli cooking scene had me in hysterics.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Feb 16, 2023 2:13:41 GMT
Ep 1 done. Still fail to see what pleasure a revhead like Jezza derives from the lonely silent tedium of messy, shitty, smelly farming in cold dreary old blighty. For 140 quid profit a year. {Spoiler}Kaleb thinking his sprog is "foreign" cos the wee prick was born in "Oxford" was gold. Big Fat Hated Jezz might be a cunt IRL but, as evidenced by the couch sessions on Top Gear where he chats to celebs, his social skills are off the chart in terms of putting varying types of people at ease and finding the vein of fun and silliness in pretty much any topic. |
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Post by Ladyfingers on Feb 16, 2023 11:48:42 GMT
Third episode in, it's really good. You're right in that he's socially gifted as a town meeting he organises to smooth over the locals goes really well. His tractor balance issues had me laughing really, really hard.
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Post by Ladyfingers on Feb 16, 2023 12:09:06 GMT
Having watched all the Top Gears and Grand Tours, and seen how he interacts with people from nearly every continent, I think the boorish persona he affects for entertainment purposes is pretty far from his actual self. There's a certain kind of priggish, effete snob who finds him unbearable, and who is determined to misunderstand basic humour and banter as some sort of crime against humanity. Tedious cunts who produce nothing even close to as good as an old fart racing cars around an airport.
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Post by Ladyfingers on Feb 21, 2023 1:43:59 GMT
Finished the second season and while it lacks the disaster-induced thrills of the first, there's a lot of really good comedy. Holy shit, the bureaucratic vindictiveness is off the charts. Kaleb and Charlie are just total champs and Clarkson's partner Lisa is hilarious.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Feb 21, 2023 7:25:52 GMT
Finished the second season and while it lacks the disaster-induced thrills of the first, there's a lot of really good comedy. Holy shit, the bureaucratic vindictiveness is off the charts. Kaleb and Charlie are just total champs and Clarkson's partner Lisa is hilarious. She seems like such a good sort and, lookswise, is wayyyy out of Jezza's league. Havent made it to the red tape episode and not sure I want to. Seems the poms are matched only by the Japanese in terms of officious anal bureaucracy. That whole hierachal/class bullshit is some pin-dicked punching-down that seems prevalent in both cultures. Dump your uptight grief at society's pyramid structure shitting its lot on you right on down to the next poor sod you've deemed to be below you. Still, Jezza had it coming, the queue of poms ticked off at him must be a mile long |
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Feb 21, 2024 8:07:53 GMT
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Post by Sprague Dawley on May 27, 2024 1:35:38 GMT
Catching up on the last few eps of S2 in readiness for new season Holy shit, the bureaucratic vindictiveness is off the charts. Fahhhhk what a shower of petty cunts. The only bright spot is that this sad gaggle of officious wankers have been named and shamed on television as the vindictive snobs they are. "You have to put a slate roof on your shop as the dark green one isn't rustic country wanker enough" How about you cunts get the fuck off my land. S3 {Spoiler}
ep 1 fuck me the
restaurant went down the gurgler quick. Those council wankers are absolutely taking the piss at this stage. "Haha, just chuck in 'no pot plants allowed on the farm' for a laugh haha fuck you Jezza"
The suspension of belief required is a stretch at times. Wish Jezza was more honest to the camera eg "this farming stuff we're doing is obviously just manufactured shits and giggles. Fretting about 3 pound jars of jam when the real money is the $100's of millions we get from Amazon for this wallopry LOL"
ep 2 ffs Jezza and missus
trying to get 2 pigs to have a root in the driving rain was some comedy madness. Replete with simulated pig rooting to coax the other pig into getting busy in the decidedly unromantic piss and gloom and bog of a british farm |
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Jun 9, 2024 7:57:00 GMT
Polished this off. {Spoiler}
Caleb meeting the PM seemed a stretch of belief.
Skipped right through the piglets dying episode.
Final ep when they tally up their meagre profits from a year of torrid toil in the rain and bog and burning sun and Cheerful Charlie says "yeah, I'll need all 60k of that to buy next years fertiliser etc" you really wonder why they bother.
Sure its the Amazon $$$ but ffs the utter pointlessness of all that graft for ZERO financial reward....that moment in the last episode where, after harvesting the field of mustard and getting about 3 ounces out of it, after all the work seeding and fertilising and harvesting, Jezza goes to pour the precious seed into his pricy wanky "mustard crusher" gizmo...... and pours it all over the floor because he's too much of a dense klutz to even think to take the fucking lid off the thing first... ffs just cut your losses. The money you've already got, your life could be sooooooo much better than this. Curious how the ratings are for this in the UK. Not on reg telly, just Amazon Prime? So surely a shitload havent seen it? Unless they're bums like me scabbing dodgy streams... |
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