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today's multi-task: stretch and cough
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Post by beta on Sept 28, 2022 11:42:44 GMT
Do any of you gaijin-in-Nippon ever cook western meals for friends and family? If so, how do they react? Weirdly, when I did live in Japan and was married to a woman whose family had multiple chefs, they wanted me to cook for them. I would make things like apple pancakes that they just loved. They suggested that I open a restaurant instead of working as a teacher. And, you know, they were right. I would have enjoyed it much more than teaching. What a drag teaching could be, as too many of you know so well. I could never be a chef. I don't have the stamina, but cooking beef stroganoff, say, for friends went over well with my ex-wife's friends. They also liked borscht. Cabbage rolls were popular. I would also make sticky bottom rolls at my wife's mom's restaurant when I could use the oven. She was not for the idea until she had one of those sticky bottom rolls. After that, she was most supportive. It was just better to stick what I can make easily instead of trying to make Japanese food. That would not have gone over well. I wouldn't make spaghetti or stuff that the Japanese already had chain restaurants killing daily. I picked foods that I had grown up eating, liked, and they were unlikely to have had in their homes or in a restaurant all that often. I used to make a three bean salad that they all loved. I just remembered that. I don't make it anymore, as it bothers my stomach and the stomach of the strange woman who lives with me. Being a Midwesterner, I wanted to have fried chicken, potato salad, and watermelon when people came over. Never did, though, with my wife's friends. I didn't want to hear about Japanese karage endlessly until I jumped off the balcony to my everlasting freedom. There's that Johnny Ramone story about buying different root beers, I think, to test which one a kid liked better. Johnny was so serious it made me laugh. He was so competitive. Well, I was, too, when it came to cooking. I had a real chip on my shoulder. I would try so hard to make things that were good, because the assumption that Japanese food was better drove me crazy. I am happy to report that my ex-wife was very happy to eat what I made for lunch and dinner day after day because no way was I going to eat even more Japanese food than I had to. Breakfast, though, I never could figure what the hell she wanted. Japanese "breakfast" is, to my mind, the worst time of the day and the worst food. "Hey, I'll make some buckwheat pancakes instead." Dead fucking silence. "Okay, I'll eat these tree roots and tell you how delicious they are instead." Smiles and applause and vigorous nodding of the head.
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Post by Ladyfingers on Sept 28, 2022 12:06:32 GMT
I once had a Japanese girlfriend, and she was simply amazed at how much and how richly I would eat. She was a tiny slip of a thing though. She'd make the occasional dish that was nice enough but I don't know how anyone could live on food so bland in such small quantities. Very sweet, though, a lovely girl.
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beta
today's multi-task: stretch and cough
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Post by beta on Sept 28, 2022 12:17:17 GMT
I once had a Japanese girlfriend, and she was simply amazed at how much and how richly I would eat. She was a tiny slip of a thing though. She'd make the occasional dish that was nice enough but I don't know how anyone could live on food so bland in such small quantities. Very sweet, though, a lovely girl. My ex-wife ran around the shower to get wet. She did eat, though, the bland food you mentioned. Weird. Just bits of this and that. She was pretty picky, but I found out that it had been much worse in the past. She had had to have steroids due to her not eating VEGETABLES. She would only eat meat in her teens. Her mother and father won "Parents of the Year" awards for that. Bland food leads women to hospital to keep her alive. Nice. Very nice. She's a super person. I'd marry her again, if she ever crossed the ocean.
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nikkeisindex
in the market for yet another kaftan
Posts: 376
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Post by nikkeisindex on Sept 28, 2022 21:17:29 GMT
I only have like 5 stories so if I haven't already posted this one before, don't worry, I'll get repetitive soon enough.
One of my last lessons in Tokyo was, after 5+ years, still falling for the "bread" gag.
They opened this bread bakery right across the street from me and for whatever reason I was like sure, that'll be fun, maybe I'll have toast that isn't sub-Wonder for a change.
I went over there and, I feel like I have posted this here before, it was all too colorful. Why is the bread all pink and green and covered in sugar. Hey wait a minute! This isn't a real bread bakery, it's a goofball place for Japanese chicks to eat and photograph sweets! Fuck!!
So I asked "Do you have anything not sweet" and they said ah, doitsu-pan. But come on Thursday.
Great, fortunately I do live across the street and don't work 9-5 so I can do this.
I go back and ask for the doitsu-pan and like, frantic scramble, I'm probably fast forwarding an additional trip here.
Eventually I get these cute maybe 3cm by 3cm pieces of bread, perhaps 5 total, in a dainty tied plastic bag for like 800 yen or whatever.
Basically, don't expect a breadshop in Japan to make bread.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 29, 2022 3:33:06 GMT
.........Benny understands this part......the rest?.........no idea.
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beta
today's multi-task: stretch and cough
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Post by beta on Sept 30, 2022 9:31:31 GMT
Basically, don't expect a breadshop in Japan to make bread. Fucken hell. Too right!!!
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Post by fuckface on Oct 1, 2022 13:46:00 GMT
I haven't too many complaints about Australia, since it's fairly similar to South Africa in many respects, but the food here is not up to South African standards, excepting the sheer variety of ethnic cuisines on offer. The standard array of sauces on offer at restaurants and takeaways is horrific. Tomato and BBQ sauces are bland and too sweet, and the less said about the until-recent ubiquity of sweet chilli sauce the better. I introduced the other half to South African tomato sauce (All Gold) and she was flabbergasted at how much better it was than anything on offer in Australia. Hot peach chutney is good too. Sausage here is so underspiced it's a crime, and most of it is dry beef instead of good fatty pork. I used to be able to grab some standard pork bangers at the supermarket in SA and either barbecue or pan-fry them to excellence with no fuss, but now I have to genuinely seek out a serious butcher if I want something even vaguely palatable. south african cafe/grocery that was down the hill from my place in brisbane sold boerewors, as good as any i ever had in sarth effrica. never got the appeal of biltong tho. fuck that leathery shit.
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Post by Ladyfingers on Oct 2, 2022 6:43:36 GMT
I haven't too many complaints about Australia, since it's fairly similar to South Africa in many respects, but the food here is not up to South African standards, excepting the sheer variety of ethnic cuisines on offer. The standard array of sauces on offer at restaurants and takeaways is horrific. Tomato and BBQ sauces are bland and too sweet, and the less said about the until-recent ubiquity of sweet chilli sauce the better. I introduced the other half to South African tomato sauce (All Gold) and she was flabbergasted at how much better it was than anything on offer in Australia. Hot peach chutney is good too. Sausage here is so underspiced it's a crime, and most of it is dry beef instead of good fatty pork. I used to be able to grab some standard pork bangers at the supermarket in SA and either barbecue or pan-fry them to excellence with no fuss, but now I have to genuinely seek out a serious butcher if I want something even vaguely palatable. south african cafe/grocery that was down the hill from my place in brisbane sold boerewors, as good as any i ever had in sarth effrica. never got the appeal of biltong tho. fuck that leathery shit. How long/when were you in SA?
There's biltong and there's biltong. Some people (like me) like it really dry and some people like it with a bit of moisture in it. Spices are really varied and I like mine without too much coriander and so on and a bit of chilli instead. Game biltong is also a different thing, some of the best I've had was gemsbok. Not wild about ostrich though.
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Post by Ladyfingers on Oct 2, 2022 7:07:14 GMT
Basically, don't expect a breadshop in Japan to make bread. There's a little Asian franchise in Australia called Breadtop that makes all sorts of sweet and savoury confectionaries, and the "bread" in question is basically chewy cake. I really like their curry-filled doughnuts and their "hot dog buns) which are just mystery-meat viennas baked into their bread. Guilty treats, but I can't imagine consuming that sort of "bread" more than once a month even in tiny quantities.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Oct 2, 2022 9:33:08 GMT
Not a curry person. If I bought a donut and it had CURRY inside I would be irreversibly traumatised. I would throw it in the gutter in a childish pique of anger.
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Post by Ladyfingers on Oct 2, 2022 12:06:08 GMT
Not a curry person. If I bought a donut and it had CURRY inside I would be irreversibly traumatised. I would throw it in the gutter in a childish pique of anger. A friend of mine mimed gagging when I offered her one and then she tried it and when straight back into the shop to get another.
I think it's important to note that there are doughnuts in the form of chewy, fried dough, and then there are those ghastly cake-like American things that Krispy Kreme sells. The former aren't necessarily sweet or savoury, just effectively a kind of fatty bread. Really nice. In South Africa it takes the form of vetkoek:
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beta
today's multi-task: stretch and cough
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Post by beta on Oct 2, 2022 12:35:05 GMT
Johnny Ramone never played guitar after The Ramones disbanded, as far as I know.
I can relate. I have never taught EFL since leaving Japan. I want nothing to do with it. Sure, there is money in it. However, it is money that would be better spent on a vetkoek for the poor "student" left with me in front of them wanting nothing to do with "teaching" anybody anything. I would rather pretend to teach, and they pretend to learn like it was in Japan long, long ago. Sure, that doesn't sound good, but a least that's a bit of a laugh when you do it. "Enjoy your ikebana class later today!" I could just utter "Yes!" and "Sure!" while imagining what I was going to look for at the record shop at lunch or after work. That kept me going day after day. Actually teaching?!!! Fuck that. Johnny Ramone had it right. No serious guitar learning for him.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Oct 2, 2022 23:03:19 GMT
Johnny Ramone never played guitar after The Ramones disbanded, as far as I know. Wow, seems like a bit of a waste of a guitar sound. Although god knows what the band sounded like by the last album. I'm guessing it wasnt Rocket To Russia vibes...
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beta
today's multi-task: stretch and cough
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Post by beta on Oct 3, 2022 5:18:05 GMT
Johnny Ramone never played guitar after The Ramones disbanded, as far as I know. Wow, seems like a bit of a waste of a guitar sound. Although god knows what the band sounded like by the last album. I'm guessing it wasnt Rocket To Russia vibes... Johnny never practiced so his sound never changed, even when producers changed. It was a shame, really, that he just let his style die right there. He did love The Ramones so perhaps he just wanted to leave his sound there. Still, he had had enough of it all. I can relate.
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beta
today's multi-task: stretch and cough
Neophyte
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Post by beta on Oct 6, 2022 8:09:04 GMT
pour meat juices from frying pan My vegan sister would probably start tearing up if she read that sentence There's that Johnny Ramone moment right there. Vegans--More sanctimonious than Buddha and Jesus and Mohammed ever were for the most part.
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nikkeisindex
in the market for yet another kaftan
Posts: 376
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Post by nikkeisindex on Oct 6, 2022 15:46:37 GMT
Johnny Ramone never played guitar after The Ramones disbanded, as far as I know. I can relate. I have never taught EFL since leaving Japan. I want nothing to do with it. Sure, there is money in it. However, it is money that would be better spent on a vetkoek for the poor "student" left with me in front of them wanting nothing to do with "teaching" anybody anything. I would rather pretend to teach, and they pretend to learn like it was in Japan long, long ago. Sure, that doesn't sound good, but a least that's a bit of a laugh when you do it. "Enjoy your ikebana class later today!" I could just utter "Yes!" and "Sure!" while imagining what I was going to look for at the record shop at lunch or after work. That kept me going day after day. Actually teaching?!!! Fuck that. Johnny Ramone had it right. No serious guitar learning for him. There seems to be a new obsession in America, probably part of the widening divide between the rich and poor that I guess I'm on the lucky side of (I'm not "rich" but like I'm not doing minimum wage work and accumulating debt to pay rent, fortunately, and I mean fortunately) where you just keep getting asked about your vision, or what role you see yourself in, or how to describe your job. Fortunately (again, very fortunately) I work at a small company where people know exactly what I do. Between emails, slacks, shared docs (you can see exactly who is logged in and doing what every second) etc -- I don't really need to answer this question, but I still get a whiff of it. One thing I knew I did not want to do was teach EFT/ESL in America. I mean in Japan sure it's all fun and games, and a fairly well-paid one. I went at it backwards. Step 1) Japan Step 2) uh... I'm a teacher? No way I'm a teacher in the US! Well, I did it, and surprise, it sucked. I did catering work too. Fucking A. These are all in joke locations, takes like an hr on public transit, I'd be walking back at 2 am with ladies from staff thinking look, I might get robbed, but I'm a man. These girls? Jesus Christ, Rape Park 101. You're supposed to get your shit checked off as a sort of training, theoretically 3 runs before you're "in" which means -- you get part of the tips. The whole job is tips. Bro didn't show up for one so I had to do a 4th before the tips. At one point I broke down and took an Uber home for like $25. My paycheck for these BRUTAL hours was like $88. I appreciate my real job every day. It's 10:45 am and I should be working. And I have been. And I will. But no one gives a shit if I fuck around on a dumbass website and I'm paid a fair salary and I have health insurance. I'm lucky! USA!
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Oct 6, 2022 22:53:58 GMT
One thing I knew I did not want to do was teach EFT/ESL in America. I mean in Japan sure it's all fun and games, and a fairly well-paid one. I went at it backwards. Step 1) Japan Step 2) uh... I'm a teacher? No way I'm a teacher in the US! Fuck that shit. The kids would be actual motivated students who really wanted to learn the language. Total horror show. "Fucked if I know mate, what's with all the questions all of a sudden?"
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nikkeisindex
in the market for yet another kaftan
Posts: 376
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Post by nikkeisindex on Oct 7, 2022 17:47:25 GMT
Even worse these were basically fluent adults asking about, i don't know, advanced super inverted double conjuctive. I'd be like bro, I have literally written this sentence directly from the textbook. Now I might not really get it, but it's not wrong. I hope?
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Oct 8, 2022 1:04:39 GMT
Between emails, slacks, shared docs ( you can see exactly who is logged in and doing what every second) etc Wow, this sounds vaguely terrifying. Japan Inc would collapse in on itself black hole-style if this panopticon bollocks were ever instituted in the workplace
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beta
today's multi-task: stretch and cough
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Post by beta on Oct 9, 2022 19:23:39 GMT
Between emails, slacks, shared docs ( you can see exactly who is logged in and doing what every second) etc Wow, this sounds vaguely terrifying. Japan Inc would collapse in on itself black hole-style if this panopticon bollocks were ever instituted in the workplace My first "real" day in Japan, which means one on which I took a train during office work hours, I saw a guy sleeping at his desk while everybody else just went on about their business. It let me know the deal right there. Just show up, sleep when you can, and look busy when you must. Johnny Ramone believed that you just slam the fans with the next song. Nanosecond break, right? Clearly, that is not the approach in Japanese entertainment. Television shows go on for years without any damn thing really happening. Just a bunch of people talking in circles while sitting in a semi-circle. Workplaces were the same. Just look the part. Don't slam anything down anybody's throat as though it is important. Nope, don't upset the harmony of doing sweet fuck all day after day while being "busy" should anybody ever ask. English classes were great for playing Uno with the kids and getting paid to win. Yes, I tried to win. Why else play? I learned that from somebody who had the backstage pass at Let's Japan. I thought that he was crazy for trying to win. Nope, I was an idiot for letting the students win. Trying to win made the day so much better. Soon, I was happy playing all sorts of board games with children during lessons. Yes, I wanted to win. I wanted to challenge myself to pay attention for a change. My year on auto-pilot was over. I was out to win. To be alive. Not to be a robot. And, most importantly, I looked busy. That was all that mattered to the managers, of course. Happy children, teacher looking like he was busy, working hard, and all that bullshit.
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beta
today's multi-task: stretch and cough
Neophyte
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Post by beta on Oct 23, 2022 21:22:32 GMT
I was doing some work on the outside of the house. I was talking to a neighbour. The neighbour laughed at something serious I said. I realized that Johnny Ramone just blew that shit off. He knew that people thought The Ramones were all stupid and that the band was a joke. I suppose that is why I never really understood AC/DC, because they seemed to be as stupid as The Ramones sort of pretended to be. I do it, too. I pretend to be really stupid just to smooth over things with my neighbours. It's hard to explain. I don't know. It's nothing big, but I sort of understand why Johnny Ramone just let it all slide. Fuck it! Just get on with life. Trying to explain that you were serious isn't going to make the person any wiser. I worked with people in theatre. I never liked them. They never liked me. We didn't dislike one another. Let's say we were just neutral about it all. And it didn't fucking matter. We were there because we loved theatre. So much I read about today is about "branding" and "narrative" that I want to puke. It's about the fucking band. It's about the fucking play. We are just part of a tradition. We aren't important. We are on the planet to have some fun doing whatever whenever. All this ideological fighting about nothing more than ego. It's fine to be in a band or neighbourhood and not talk to anybody. Do your fucking thing and let it go.
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beta
today's multi-task: stretch and cough
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Post by beta on Oct 24, 2022 16:32:07 GMT
Until today, I never much understood why Johnny Ramone was a fan of Ronald Reagan. Johnny Ramone must have liked a good show, didn't care about the backstage stuff, and there it is. Ronald Reagan was a good show, not a great one. Personally, I couldn't stand the guy, but he was, for 8 long years, the genial anti-communist puppet of much darker forces in US politics who could tell a joke and make people of all ages laugh. How stupid we all were! We watched the show and didn't focus on what was backstage. Those dickheads contributed to the mess we find ourselves in all over the world now. King Ronald, though, won't be held responsible because he was a presidential circus coming to your small town next to make people of all ages smile and forget their own troubles. Much like The Ramones...
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beta
today's multi-task: stretch and cough
Neophyte
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Post by beta on Oct 25, 2022 23:21:36 GMT
Put in a gas generator today like a true Johnny Ramone fan would. No Green Peace warrior anymore. Straight fucking practicality living out here in the boonies with coyotes for neighbours.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 26, 2022 4:47:23 GMT
Straight fucking practicality living .......the way it should be.......Fuck Green Peace.
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beta
today's multi-task: stretch and cough
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Post by beta on Oct 27, 2022 9:30:32 GMT
Johnny Ramone guarded the T-shirt money as best he could. He also booked The Ramones for multiple nights in places where ticket sales were good, upped the amount the band charged for shows, and lots of other very smart things. When I saw the new thing up to encourage lurkers to sign up here, I couldn't help but think of Johnny Ramone. He would approve wholeheartedly with the change, and I confess that I agree with it as well. Really, why not sign up and just lurk? It's not like anybody here fights about anything. Laugh? Fuck yeah! Am I deranged? Yes. Still, I ain't out to get anybody. And I don't see anybody else on any sort of trip other than brown acid or a trip to get some beer. Overall, I drop by here as much as I can. Thanks to everybody who makes it enjoyable. I loathe the internet nowadays, but this bohemian hideout makes it worth it.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Oct 27, 2022 9:49:13 GMT
When I saw the new thing up to encourage lurkers to sign up here, I couldn't help but think of Johnny Ramone. He would approve wholeheartedly with the change, and I confess that I agree with it as well. Really, why not sign up and just lurk? It's not like anybody here fights about anything. I read on the internet that you are a "fascist dickhead". Argue your way out of that one!
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beta
today's multi-task: stretch and cough
Neophyte
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Post by beta on Oct 28, 2022 4:27:15 GMT
When I saw the new thing up to encourage lurkers to sign up here, I couldn't help but think of Johnny Ramone. He would approve wholeheartedly with the change, and I confess that I agree with it as well. Really, why not sign up and just lurk? It's not like anybody here fights about anything. I read on the internet that you are a "fascist dickhead". Argue your way out of that one! I have been called worse by my own family, even when I was close to death. Cheers!
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beta
today's multi-task: stretch and cough
Neophyte
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Post by beta on Oct 28, 2022 22:22:03 GMT
I was a smug idiot for about a week straight many years ago. Unrepentant idiot for 7 straight days. I saw this British pub near Yokohama station and thought 'Fucked if I am going there. I didn't travel across an ocean to hang out in the same place I could back home'. So, yeah, I was there pretty much weekly after that. I realized just how important home is, and how good the food is that I missed the rest of the week while being forced snot soup intravenously as far as I was concerned. For an entire week, I got to think that I had my shit together. A glorious week of fooling myself. At least Johnny Ramone knew that he was just doing his job in another country. I had fooled myself into thinking that Japan actually had something pleasant in mind for non-Japanese folks. What a fucking idiot I was!
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beta
today's multi-task: stretch and cough
Neophyte
Posts: 682
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Post by beta on Nov 4, 2022 23:21:13 GMT
It does the part of me that loves New York state and NYC so much that I radiate in unfounded pride that Sabicas redefined flamenco while living in NYC instead of toiling in Franco's Spain. There is some kind of Johnny Ramone pride in that feeling. Greatest city in the world at that time. Now? Even Johnny left. It's like living in Disneyland, unfortunately, some days. Times Square is supposed to be dangerous. Fuck me fuck me fuck me.
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beta
today's multi-task: stretch and cough
Neophyte
Posts: 682
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Post by beta on Nov 4, 2022 23:28:27 GMT
Although not a Ramone, it was with tremendous sadness that I read about the death of D. H. Peligro a.k.a. Darren Eric Henley. He made Jello Biafra sound good. That, to my mind, is a miracle of musicality. East Bay Ray and D.H. Peligro made growing up a whole lot more fun. And, even though Jello Biafra prefers The Ramones over The Clash, which I totally understand, it was the surf sounds of D.H. Peligro and East Bay Ray that made their band really stand above the crowd for me not the Jello Biafra persona, which so many old friend of mine still go on about. What other people liked about the music never concerned me. "Police Truck" remains a fave after a hundred years of listening to it. Guitar and drums really locked in to one another.
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