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Post by Sprague Dawley on Oct 15, 2020 2:46:26 GMT
We used to have 5 of the rat-faced shitheads. I took the only photo in existence of all 5 of the pesky vet bill knobheads in the same shot.  Striking some sort of idiotic boy-band pose here, I dunno.
Wankers. |
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Bacon Love
thinks "fracking" is a porn genre
Posts: 46
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Post by Bacon Love on Oct 15, 2020 5:52:45 GMT
Only if sauteed with garlic, bay leaves and extra virgin olive oil.
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Cats
Oct 15, 2020 8:55:57 GMT
Post by Sprague Dawley on Oct 15, 2020 8:55:57 GMT
This thread deteriorated into dog-rooting lube talk sooner than I was expecting. |
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Oct 16, 2020 22:43:26 GMT
Far left, the big black furball was named "Blue" when we got him from some pedigree breeding place that was closing down and giving the piss-soaked wankers away for free. I brought him home 15 years ago secretly as a prezzie for Minime hoping to teach her some responsibility about looking after something for once in her spoiled rotten life. Of course, she and Camp Leader blew it off so I've been stuck feeding the revolting little ratfaced vermin and cleaning up their piss and vomit every fucken day for the last 15 years. What a fucking mistake. MORAN. Blue is a stupid name for a cat that is clearly BLACK (possible racism) so I renamed the poor little fuckwit "Bill". He died a few years ago and he was my favourite. The other 4 cats are all cocksucking arseholes. Bill was extremely tame but he couldnt give a shit about being your mate. He just did his own thing. He looked all rolly polly but was actually skinny and quick and the last cat the others wanted to mess with. His fur would dread up so once a year he got a no.#1 total body shave and underneath looked like one of those anorexic siamese freaks. |
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Oct 16, 2020 22:58:47 GMT
2nd from left is Vivienne. She died a few years back. My other selection from the closing pedigree biz. I chose her and Bill out of literally 50+ cats they were giving away. And, if it were up to me, they wouldve been the only 2 cats we had. BUT a couple of years later FUCKING Camp leader decided to bring the other 3 mongrel vomitstains home. Fuck knows where they came from. Probably trying to hitch a ride on a one-way expresslane that was pointed straight towards hell. Shitfaced little demonic arseholes.
Vivienne, befitting her name, was a supermodel cat. All fussy high maintenance and high cheekbones. Would interact with you but only on her terms. Of course, she was hated by the other mongrel shitcase birdfaced cripples who were probably jealous of her exquisite breeding and glacial grace. Fucking shit-caste dickhead spermgarglers.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Oct 16, 2020 23:21:22 GMT
Can't even remmeber that black and white cunts name. WILDLY feral. WHY did Camp Leader bring this vicious fucking arsehole into my home? WHY? I think I patted the hostile little satanic eggspawn maybe once. And even that was after about 2 weeks of stealthily gradually sneaking up on the cunt like I was Jane Goodall in the chimps jungle or some shit.
Panda, that was the cunts name, fuck me I'd completely forgotten. The little shit HATED humans and was never sighted except for at dinner time. I think I got within 2 metres of the cunt maybe twice in its whole short, stupid life. Thank God the little fuckwit is dead now. When we once had to try and catch the pint-sized misanthrope to take it to the vet it was literally like trying to grasp Barry Sanders if he were possessed of the spirit of 4 Bruce Lee's. Just a flash of black and white and a whirling wind of grasped air. Gone. Again. Obviously no one ever got close enough to trim its claws so those things were like a fucking Jurassic Park battleground in and of themselves.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Oct 17, 2020 6:40:54 GMT
One of the most beautiful things I've ever seen was my sister's cat, Charles, who is my cat now, insisting on being his friend. Lion was ferocious and mean to Charles but Charles was undissuadable. He followed Lion everywhere he went, meowed at him non-stop, I have no idea what he was saying to him, but it was very conversational. He'd follow him wherever he went and at first when Lion wouldn't let Charles cuddle and sleep with him, Charles would reach out his paw and hold it against Lion's paw while they slept. He did this over and over and eventually wore Lion down. Charles started giving him baths  |
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Oct 18, 2020 22:33:17 GMT
Ginger the fat cunt. Still with us, unfortunately. Took me YEARS to realise the friendless fat fuck was slyly eating all the other wanker cats petfood. No wonder the porcine cuntwobble got so fucken fat. Expanded his belly so much he got constipated and now costs us $380 in annual visits to the vet so some poor gloved dog proctologist can fish ingots of concrete silage from up out of his tiny arsehole. Weird job. Little shithead costing me money. Fuck this clown. Sadly, I'm his only friend on earth and even I dont like him. Psycho nutjob has never been outside and if anyone comes here to visit us he hides in abject terror till they're gone. He is stupidly tame and friendly but I'm the only one who ever sees it. Camp Leader doesnt really give a shit about him. If he were left outside for the first time in his long, dumb, luxurious life he'd probably just hunch in terror on the sidewalk until he died. Probably involuntarily evacuate his bowels too. Hey, there's a thought. Could save me some $$ on vet bills. Maybe leave him outside overnight by some traffic lights or something. Ching ching, shithead. |
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Cats
Oct 19, 2020 21:10:04 GMT
Post by Sprague Dawley on Oct 19, 2020 21:10:04 GMT
Legend has it cats have little spikes on their cocks. Sylvester appears to have had nearly all of his removed. Vet or DIY?
ps who's the drongo that chose dog bone wallpaper for a cat room? LOL!
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Cats
Oct 19, 2020 23:01:39 GMT
Post by Gordon, "Gordo", Forthreich on Oct 19, 2020 23:01:39 GMT
Sorry P.Ussycat, had to delete Sly and Skittles pic. Damnit! I was just getting to like them.
ps how did proboards get the scent so fast?
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Cats
Oct 20, 2020 22:41:01 GMT
via mobile
Post by pussycat on Oct 20, 2020 22:41:01 GMT
I thought it was a pretty wholesome pic of my little guys. Definitely feeling hesitant about posting more, especially the ones where they’re playing with their rubber chew toys.
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Post by Gordon, "Gordo", Forthreich on Oct 20, 2020 22:46:28 GMT
I thought it was a pretty wholesome pic of my little guys. Definitely feeling hesitant about posting more, especially the ones where they’re playing with their rubber chew toys. Sly and Skittles certainly did look playful, albeit somewhat lacking in the fur dept. Wonder if I can remember how to set up a private Members Only backstage categoriii away from proboards prying eyes? |
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Cats
Oct 22, 2020 0:36:04 GMT
Post by Sprague Dawley on Oct 22, 2020 0:36:04 GMT
Sorry Rabs, you mustve missed the kaffuffle. Ussycat posted a photo of 2 naked gents named Sly and Skittles as if they were his 2 cats and proboards IMMEDIATELY issued us a warning. We all had a great old laugh. Guess you had to be there. |
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Cats
Nov 3, 2020 6:17:46 GMT
Post by Sprague Dawley on Nov 3, 2020 6:17:46 GMT
Charles has been extremely affectionate lately, he wants cuddles all the time. My Bill was like that. Towards the end. Just before he died. |
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Cats
Nov 23, 2020 22:21:14 GMT
Post by Sprague Dawley on Nov 23, 2020 22:21:14 GMT
I picked up my lion and sat him on my chest, holding him underneath his arms while I leaned backwards. He got really mad and the next thing I know he has quickly flapped his arms outwards and down around my face, then his little face came at me with teeth bared and he bit my nose. It was thrilling. Little shit will have your eye out. Time to lovingly escort him to city limits then leave him to his own devices. |
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Dec 7, 2020 0:08:56 GMT
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Cats
Dec 7, 2020 8:51:02 GMT
Post by Sprague Dawley on Dec 7, 2020 8:51:02 GMT
Something tells me you've grown quite attached to your rodents.
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Post by passportsworkvisas on Dec 7, 2020 22:09:10 GMT
This ginger kitten of mine has become ridiculously affectionate. One of his ways of showing it, though, is getting in my face--centimetres away--staring quizzically for a few seconds, then biting my nose. It's cute, and really painful.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Dec 7, 2020 22:47:34 GMT
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Cats
Dec 8, 2020 2:11:03 GMT
via mobile
Post by passportsworkvisas on Dec 8, 2020 2:11:03 GMT
Yes, but I'll never get that money back.
Not happy at all.
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Cats
Dec 13, 2020 0:04:10 GMT
Post by Sprague Dawley on Dec 13, 2020 0:04:10 GMT
Yes, but I'll never get that money back. Not happy at all. Wthe actual fuck is going ON in Portugal...  |
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Dec 19, 2020 4:37:36 GMT
Charles has gone stark raving mad for blankets. I have a huge sectional couch with about five different soft fuzzy blankets on it. For the last 20 minutes, Charles has been going from one blanket to the other and kneading them, if anyone comes near him, he gets perturbed and starts meowing then races off to a different blanket. I've never seen a cat knead so much, he has been doing it for about a week now, every day. Read somewhere cats do this to replicate the kneading of the mothers teat to extricate milk. That's the good news. The bad news is you are going to have to start breastfeeding Charles. I know, I know, this might sound weird to hear but, moving forward, and from a medical health viewpoint, this would be the best solution for Charles. |
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Dec 19, 2020 5:22:06 GMT
but it's just rubbing, like he's giving himself a massage, up and down really fast.  |
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Dec 19, 2020 8:45:04 GMT
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Dec 19, 2020 22:24:06 GMT
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Dec 20, 2020 22:47:51 GMT
I keep meaning to ask this. Who is minime? Do you have a child? And is the "camp leader" your wife, or husband? Yes, MiniMe = daughter, now 25. Yes, Camp Leader = trouble and strife, now aged 6 million in Antichrist years. |
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Dec 21, 2020 22:47:23 GMT
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Dec 22, 2020 10:52:55 GMT
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Dec 26, 2020 22:20:53 GMT
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Cats
Jan 3, 2021 3:22:58 GMT
Post by Sprague Dawley on Jan 3, 2021 3:22:58 GMT
It was due for a good 2 inches Are we still talking about Chuckie's strap-on Xmas Day action or have we changed subject now? |
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