hiccup
thinks "perineum" might be a type of disinfectant
Posts: 290
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Post by hiccup on Nov 27, 2020 19:43:48 GMT
My favourite time of the year.
Will post a pic of my tree in a few days. I really want a big thick tree but can't afford it, they're so ridiculously expensive, like $400 for some plastic, so annoying.
My Lion has already plopped himself down under the tree on the new sparkling tree skirt, so lovely. Charles has started swatting off the ball ornaments, drives me crazy but it's so cute.
What are your plans for Christmas 2020? Post a pic of your tree.
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hiccup
thinks "perineum" might be a type of disinfectant
Posts: 290
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Post by hiccup on Nov 27, 2020 19:45:32 GMT
lol Someone didn't think this one through (or very much did):  |
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hiccup
thinks "perineum" might be a type of disinfectant
Posts: 290
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Post by hiccup on Nov 27, 2020 19:48:53 GMT
Can someone Christmas-ize my av?
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Nov 27, 2020 22:45:48 GMT
No tree, no presents, might throw a biscuit at Camp Leader if she's lucky.
The fucking thing comes on a Friday this year so I have to go to fucking WORK at the fucking mental clinics like every other fuckign Friday of the year.
If 1 CUNT cheerily comes up to me and says "MERRY CHRISTMAS! IT'S XMAS DAY TODAY!" expecting me the foreign cunt to go all Waltons Family-sentimental Little House on the fucking Prairie then they're in for a sore and grumpy surprise. "Do not expect me to be happy to be fuckign HERE on Xmas day you brainless shit. WFT are we even doing here".
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hiccup
thinks "perineum" might be a type of disinfectant
Posts: 290
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Post by hiccup on Nov 27, 2020 23:59:48 GMT
No tree, no presents, might throw a biscuit at Camp Leader if she's lucky. The fucking thing comes on a Friday this year so I have to go to fucking WORK at the fucking mental clinics like every other fuckign Friday of the year. If 1 CUNT cheerily comes up to me and says "MERRY CHRISTMAS! IT'S XMAS DAY TODAY!" expecting me the foreign cunt to go all Waltons Family-sentimental Little House on the fucking Prairie then they're in for a sore and grumpy surprise. "Do not expect me to be happy to be fuckign HERE on Xmas day you brainless shit. WFT are we even doing here".What work do you do at mental clinics?
Now, Sprague. At least you should make a tasty Christmas dinner and watch a Christmas movie.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Nov 28, 2020 1:26:32 GMT
Just walk around grinning and answering my own questions.
I'm not exaggerating, that is seriously what I do. No one has told me what I'm supposed to actually do. It's been 15 years now.
Yeah, I suppose. Might scrape some rice out of the sink and watch the cat take a shit on the rug.
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hiccup
thinks "perineum" might be a type of disinfectant
Posts: 290
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Post by hiccup on Dec 3, 2020 20:23:55 GMT
I always put my tree up the last weekend in November so that by the time I'm done fiddling with the decor, it's all set for most of December. December is the month of Christmas.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Dec 3, 2020 22:26:55 GMT
I always put my tree up the last weekend in November so that by the time I'm done fiddling with the decor, it's all set for most of December. December is the month of Christmas. You sound quite serious about this whole Xmas thing this year. |
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hiccup
thinks "perineum" might be a type of disinfectant
Posts: 290
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Post by hiccup on Dec 3, 2020 22:58:25 GMT
I always put my tree up the last weekend in November so that by the time I'm done fiddling with the decor, it's all set for most of December. December is the month of Christmas. You sound quite serious about this whole Xmas thing this year. I am serious about it every year. I seriously love it. Going to bake some sugar-free Christmas cookies right now. |
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Dec 14, 2020 1:07:20 GMT
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Dec 19, 2020 22:52:16 GMT
They don't even decorate or put up lights on the "downtown" trees. In fact, there is no downtown, and there are no trees "downtown." It almost never snows here either. I can see the mistake you've made here.
You went outside didn't you.
We tried to warn you. |
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Dec 20, 2020 13:12:56 GMT
Christmas has been cancelled in the UK. Result!
Covid all over the shop, including a new variant. Santa is dead.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Dec 21, 2020 0:24:38 GMT
Christmas has been cancelled in the UK. Covid all over the shop, including a new variant.Xmas not cancelled after all! This is the prezzie! A brand new variant! Just what I've always wanted, mummy! Merry Xmas from Wuhan and Fuck You All! |
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Post by pussycat on Dec 21, 2020 15:14:32 GMT
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hiccup
thinks "perineum" might be a type of disinfectant
Posts: 290
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Post by hiccup on Dec 24, 2020 1:42:21 GMT
I had a little extra money this Christmas so I really splurged on booze and food. I get to the checkout and lo and behold, idiot moi has lost two, not one but two hundred dollar bills out of her pocket. What an absolute crap moment.
I feel exhausted this Christmas. Usually I'm stuffing my face like a happy little sow but I'm just not feeling it. I still love my tree, the lights, the music, the movies but I'm so tired and I don't want to cook and I don't want to anyone to come over. If I told my family to stay away, my mother would cry though and she's old now so I have to do it. All I want to do is tweak my forum. I'm so obsessed with my forum that for the last three days I haven't eaten except for breakfast, I'm just online reading hour after hour about everything, and trying new plugins and formatting. Hopefully by January I will have lost 100 lbs and won't need to workout for a new year's resolution.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Dec 24, 2020 3:50:09 GMT
All I want to do is tweak my forum. I'm so obsessed with my forum that for the last three days I haven't eaten except for breakfast, I'm just online reading hour after hour about everything, and trying new plugins and formatting. Is this where the name "rabid" comes from? Sounds like you missed a career trick not becoming an professional IT code type |
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Dec 25, 2020 8:40:25 GMT
Merry Christmas, people of the forum.
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hiccup
thinks "perineum" might be a type of disinfectant
Posts: 290
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Post by hiccup on Dec 25, 2020 19:30:12 GMT
Merry Christmas, one and all.
I think I have covid. I came down with something last night congestion, fever, fatigue, sneezing, headache, sudden deep cough, maybe just a cold or flu but my breathing has a weird wheezing vibrato at the end (I can only hear this when I have earplugs in though). I went out way too often the last week, in and out of stores. Slightly better today, no sneezing or runny nose, just the congestion. Maybe I have a mild case or not at all, either way I can barely eat and have a fridge-load of amazing food going to waste, including gourmet vegan desserts wahhhh. My mum and niece were here last night and my mum is one of the worst people who could get covid. God I hope it's just a cold. If I die, please go vegan.
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hiccup
thinks "perineum" might be a type of disinfectant
Posts: 290
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Post by hiccup on Dec 25, 2020 19:47:46 GMT
All I want to do is tweak my forum. I'm so obsessed with my forum that for the last three days I haven't eaten except for breakfast, I'm just online reading hour after hour about everything, and trying new plugins and formatting. Is this where the name "rabid" comes from? Sounds like you missed a career trick not becoming an professional IT code type ps now THIS is a Xmas jersey:  lol that took me a few minutes.
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Post by passportsworkvisas on Dec 25, 2020 21:25:13 GMT
Yeah, I certainly hope that's not the case.
Merry Christmas?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 25, 2020 21:38:49 GMT
Merry Christmas, one and all. I think I have covid. I came down with something last night congestion, fever, fatigue, sneezing, headache, sudden deep cough, maybe just a cold or flu but my breathing has a weird wheezing vibrato at the end (I can only hear this when I have earplugs in though). I went out way too often the last week, in and out of stores. Slightly better today, no sneezing or runny nose, just the congestion. Maybe I have a mild case or not at all, either way I can barely eat and have a fridge-load of amazing food going to waste, including gourmet vegan desserts wahhhh. My mum and niece were here last night and my mum is one of the worst people who could get covid. God I hope it's just a cold. If I die, please go vegan. Rabid, you die and I'll fucking UberEats in a Burger King Whopper special. |
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Dec 25, 2020 22:30:59 GMT
food going to waste, including gourmet vegan dessertsI interpret this as a sign from Bethlehem. Read the signs, Rabid. May The Power Of Christ Compel You. |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 26, 2020 19:07:46 GMT
So two cousins, like the last fucking link I have to this mortal coil, were going to come yesterday. Then it snowed, and they said they would come today. I think they just want to steal my fathers' paintings. 2:06 and no snowplow or any shit and I think I'll just get drunk.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Dec 26, 2020 21:50:10 GMT
So two cousins, like the last fucking link I have to this mortal coil, were going to come yesterday. Then it snowed, and they said they would come today. I think they just want to steal my fathers' paintings. 2:06 and no snowplow or any shit and I think I'll just get drunk. This sounds like "Home Alone" but for grownups. |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 26, 2020 22:28:10 GMT
They already said they weren't coming so I'm down to rubbing alcohol.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Dec 26, 2020 22:30:05 GMT
They already said they weren't coming so I'm down to rubbing alcohol. Niche wanking fetish but I suppose it's worth a crack. Or have I totally misread that post. |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 26, 2020 23:35:27 GMT
They already said they weren't coming so I'm down to rubbing alcohol. Niche wanking fetish but I suppose it's worth a crack. Or have I totally misread that post. Hey but a niche wine joint was open so I have 8 liters of red. I am going to be projectile vomiting. |
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Dec 26, 2020 23:41:00 GMT
Dr Dawley: WikiHow To Deal
With Christmas Stress.
“Fuck this shit. Please God pleeeeease smite this wanker family of mine so I
can just lie the fuck down and put a fucken Electric Wizard lp on for fucken once.”
“I want to spend time with my loved ones.”
“I want to spend time with my family.”
Familiar tropes from the welter of gobshite seppo TV dramas we’re deluged with on the telly every fucking day of every fucking year.
“I want to spend time with my family.”
FFS.
You see these family wankers every fucken day of the year anyway. You do not want to fuck up your precious holiday time by dealing with them for even fucking longer. Can I please get a holiday from these cunts? Dealing with the agenda of some foreign body is NOT a fucking holiday. You want to lie on the rug. With your blankey. Your very, very BEST blankey. And with your Grado SR-80 headphones on, you can FINALLY not go to work and span the fuck out to your records at skull-melting volume. For HOURS AND HOURS. Fuck off. Leave me alone. Lonely at Xmas? More like HAPPY AS FUCK, YOU PESKY CUNTS.
Other people, that being, every fucker that is not you, DOES NOT have your agenda at heart. They have THEIR agenda. That being, their Not You agenda. And that’s fine. That shit makes them happy. They do what makes them happy. They should NOT however expect you to follow along with their vicious, selfish thinking like a pet dog on a fucken leash. Sitting for HOURS at some “dinner party” table with excruciating wanker “dinner guests” who don’t know doom metal from a dildo full of metamucil? That’s worse than being at fucking WORK. You are not supposed to be checking the clock every 5 minutes as if this rigmarole is another one of your motherfucking work appointments.
That good ol’ family and loved ones trope gets amplified at Christmas. Exposed in ever-increasingly rawer and higher definition until it frays and someone snaps. “These fuckers are really getting on my tits”, we all quietly think as we head into Hour 5 of sitting around doing shit we fucking hate. Great, just fucken great. So you have to spend your precious holiday faking happiness. Yep, you’d rather be back at fucken WORK than doing this shit.
The "festive" charade of price-appropriate presents, organising special food, organising special trips, keeping up with the Joneses on telly and social media, with their picture-perfect festivities, and David Copperfield jerseys, and happy, healthy and wealthy families, and Christmas trees the size of the fucking Empire State Building, with so many fucken lights the flashing epileptic bushy fuckers can be seen from fucking Mars. “We have wayyy more lights than the Joneses, that means we are by definition happier at Christmas than them.” Fuck that shit. Holidays are supposed to be about relaxing and unwinding. And that should NOT involve subscribing to some pricks "I Am Not You" bizarroland hopes and dreams and wishes and utterly, utterly foreign transcripts of happiness.
Therefore, in executive summary, Dr Dawley’s advice on dealing with Christmas stress is to avoid all humans that are not you. NONE of those wankers REALLY have your best interests at heart. It’s all about them. Ohhhh, they think you will ENJOY this “festive” horseshit? A lie disguised as a fib wrapped up in a blanket of bald-faced deceit getting beaten to death in broad daylight with an 8-foot long tinselated dildo. With ALL the 8-foot long tinselated dildos. They’ve watched too much fucken telly.
The only grounds for these foreign entities having a relatable "Dream Christmas" is if it revolves around a blankey, a Denon DL-110 cartridge, Grado SR-80 headphones and a huge stack of sludge forward slash doom metal records.
READ MORE:
* Dr Dawley: I Kill Kittens And Eat Them.
* Dr Dawley: Not Raw, Mind You.
* Dr Dawley: I Have A Pot. |
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hiccup
thinks "perineum" might be a type of disinfectant
Posts: 290
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Post by hiccup on Dec 27, 2020 0:14:24 GMT
That's largely why I prefer to spend Christmas day alone. I like a get together or two around the holidays, something where I could dress up when I wasn't so fat, but leave me alone on Christmas day. I spent way too many Christmas days with people who don't know me from their elbow and who exhaust me with their racist and sexist bs. I called it quits in 2011. Did Christmas with family 2 years in a row after that because I had no choice, then just decided it's my holiday and I'm spending it the way I want to. Even this Christmas Eve I would have preferred to be by myself, hopefully I won't be here next Christmas and spend all of it with my fameowly only, and truly be a fat hermit cat lady for realz.
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hiccup
thinks "perineum" might be a type of disinfectant
Posts: 290
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Post by hiccup on Dec 27, 2020 0:21:30 GMT
I've been taking vitamin C and D by the truckload which has staved off the worst parts of whatever I have. Just fatigued, achy, and no appetite now. Can't get a test until tomorrow, don't think I'm sick enough to warrant a visit to the ER. I'm thinking and hoping this is just a mild flu.
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