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Post by Sprague Dawley on Dec 29, 2021 7:55:52 GMT
10 votes each in the pole, Morans.
Working my way thru the Netflux stand-up section
James Acaster: "Repertoire". 0/10. Lasted all of 2 minutes. A nervous little boy with nothing of interest to offer. Did I give him a fair chance? #no,_boo_fucken_hoo_cunt
Jim Gaffigan: "Comedy Monster" 7/10 Very goddamn classy and solid clever fun without ever veering into breathtakingly LOL territory. Total smooth pro. Damn entertaining
Tom Segura: "Disgraceful". 6/10 Trying to be cool guy edgy rather than self-deprecating like Garrigan. Could stand to incorporate some self deprecation cos he dont look like all that cool of a guy.
Still goddamn clever although can't say I LOL'ed at any stage. FFS what is wrong with me not laughing out loud at professional stand up comedians ffs.
ps his porn bit was golden
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Dec 29, 2021 9:51:42 GMT
Judah Friedlander
0/10. Lasted all of 30 seconds. Looks like a wild man but yeah nah I don't think this is going to work out between us sorry cunt ok bye now
Jimmy Carr; His Dark Material
10/10 FFS Jimmy, plastic surgery? Really? Just why. Do you want to be the cunt that cunts like you mercilessly rip a new one?
Took all of 2 minutes to realise that Friedlander twat above is stealing a living and should give his Netflix $$$ fucking BACK
100% balls to the wall GOLD here. Utter filth interspersed with a vast array of corny groany dad gags. His ability to take the piss out of hecklers is just femtofuck fucking quick
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Dec 30, 2021 2:40:58 GMT
Jim Gaffigan "Cinco"
7/10
Another clever outing. Seamlessly smooth self-deprecation. Enjoyable stuff. Can see how he makes $$$. Makes it look pretty easy. The opposite of awkward.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Dec 30, 2021 4:05:15 GMT
Dave Chappelle "Sticks and Stones"
10/10
Jim Gaffigan is all good and well. But he's the John Stockton of standup. Consummate pro, highly consistent, turns up every night. But Chappelle is the motherfucking real MJ. Slow but steady Gaffigan isnt going to go baseline and excoriate your mind with a reverse cupped thunder jam all up in your cockmeat.
Stockton feeds Malone for the easy 2, job done.
Chappelle burns your brain out with some highlight reel shit then parties in the smoldering hull for weeks.
Gaffigan is 13 assists.
Chappele is 52 points then fucking a rainbow of strippers in Vegas later on that same night.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Dec 30, 2021 4:21:03 GMT
Phil Wang
0/10
60 seconds then instantly cut bait. A very nervous young asian man in a huge and VERY motherfucking palatial pommy toff theatre. How the fuck did you get that gig cunt? You must be funny as fuck. You could well be but bish u did nothing in the 60 seconds I wuz watching and seemed like you TOTALLY did not belong there and even you seemed like u knew it so gtfo NEXT
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Dec 30, 2021 9:44:19 GMT
Chris Rock: Total Blackout
7.7/10
I dunno. Still funny but it all seemed like a bit of an effort for his brain. Very repetitive. We heard the gag mofo, no need to repeat the punchline 4 times. And then snigger at it into the mic a few times. Like he's got old and had lost his meter. His cadence. Before, he was rip shit and bust, up to you motherfuckers to keep up. Now he seems like he's the one trying to keep up. Got me wondering what Eddie Murphy standup would be like these days. Much the same I'm guessing.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Dec 31, 2021 3:37:49 GMT
Dave Chappele "Equanamity"
6/10
Not even a standup, more like a sit down on a stool by a sage village elder. He espouses some shit then its done. Still fun but.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Dec 31, 2021 4:26:26 GMT
Bill Burr "Walk Your Way Out"
8/10
Too irrationally irate to be relaxing viewing like with a Chapalle but still goddamn fun enough and meticulously crafted. No awkward anxious young standup comedian shit here.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Jan 1, 2022 5:43:47 GMT
Tracy Morgan "Staying Alive"
1.5/10
Something a bit disingenuous about this fella. Like his shirt's full of shit. Just a hunch I've got. Gave up after 5 minutes.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Jan 1, 2022 6:38:05 GMT
Kevin Hart: Zero Fucks Given
0/10
Has the show downstairs at his palatial home. He's obviously jarringly, horrifically, motherfucking rich as shiiiiiiiiiit. The enormous tacky mansion, and introducing the perfect loving family upstairs before trotting downstairs to do his show before a handful of wanker guests, all of which sets the tone badly, putting us poxy poor viewers on the back foot from the get go. We aint with you motherfucker. In any way, shape or form. Great job shithead, now, right from the start of your comedy special, the viewer is wary and skeptical like "yeah fuck this guy. Ostentatious little prig. Fuck you and fuck your custom-appointed soulless mansion, you jumped-up motherfucking tryhard. Large framed likesnesses of Pryor and Murphy in your little walk of fame. Please dont tell me your picture is up there hanging alongside them. You're kidding yourself cunt.
Lasted 2 minutes.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Jan 1, 2022 7:00:27 GMT
Patton Aswalt
0/10
Pedestrian.
Mentally pedestrian.
FFS.
WFT is the big deal about this dude? I'm fucked if I know. 3 minutes I gave the cunt.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Jan 1, 2022 9:49:48 GMT
John Mulaney: Kid Gorgeous at Radio City
8.3/10
This kid is pretty full-on. Got the melliflous voice* and delivery and and damn he's really owning that stage. Not pissing-mist funny but smooth and confident and did I mention man he is really owning that goddamn fucking enormous stage at Radio City Music Hall.
After watching so many of these standups in a row I'm really seeing that so much of the craft comes down to confidence. A nervous standup is just dude why are you even up there, why are the cameras rolling, are you sure this is the line of work you think is for you? If you can't assuage the audience into a relaxed state they aint gonna laugh at your shit motherfucker, it dont matter who you are. Kevin Hart turning up in his jarmies at home and not really having any funny shit to say, fffs dude we can sense that shit inside 2 minutes. Instantly transparent.
*hang about, is this guy putting on a Phil Hartman voice? Goddamnit now I can't unhear it.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Jan 2, 2022 4:05:15 GMT
Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the maternity ward
6/10
Young turk.
Confident, slow, methodical, deadpan delivery. Meticulous setups. Still not laughing.
The slowness does frame the unexpected punchlines well though. Take a 6, turk. You're already better then gazillionaire Kevin Hart.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Jan 13, 2022 11:13:55 GMT
Zach Galifinaikis: Live At The Purple Onion
8/10
Seems to be a polarizing character but I like how comfortable and confident he is in his twerpness. No awkward standup desperately trawling for laughs to justify his career choice here.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Feb 3, 2022 9:17:27 GMT
Joe Mande
0/10
Gave him 5 minutes and I will have forgotten about all 5 of them 5 minutes from now.
Not a comedian.
Just some young awkward dork guy who's decided he's a comedian and it's his job now.
FFS.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Feb 7, 2022 23:35:56 GMT
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Post by Ladyfingers on Feb 8, 2022 0:52:53 GMT
The best part about all the screaming over Jimmy Carr's Holocaust joke is that the only way to pretend it's offensive is to assume the intent is the total opposite of why it's funny. Watching living parody Smurthwaite hyperventilating here as her opponent explains she seems curiously unoffended by all his incest and murder jokes is gold (if you can listen to Smurthwaite without destroying your screen).
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Feb 8, 2022 1:27:25 GMT
OMFG only made it 2 minutes with that woman. She seems hurt by comedy. Her "job".
People mistaking comedians for being serious spokesmen is just about the dumbest thing I can think of. The hint is in their professional job description you bleating windbaggy slag
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Post by Ladyfingers on Feb 8, 2022 2:03:00 GMT
My favourite Smurthwaite clip. It's like she has no idea how easy a target she makes herself.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Feb 8, 2022 5:12:41 GMT
haha, the dude has run the clock down and kicked the field goal with no time left. Master class in time management.
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fuckface
will gargle nuts for more nuts
hey there
Posts: 619
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Post by fuckface on Feb 8, 2022 7:32:33 GMT
don't have netflux and think modern standup comedy is bog shite beyond redemption.
...but this new smurf-wait character is un-fucking-believably brilliant.
better than your man big boy clarkson, i'll tell you that for nothing.
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fuckface
will gargle nuts for more nuts
hey there
Posts: 619
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Post by fuckface on Feb 8, 2022 7:36:22 GMT
re: poll. didn't vote because you forgot the they're all a bunch of over paid smug pussy arsed mothafukas option. capeesh!?!
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Feb 8, 2022 7:50:15 GMT
Work with me, fuckface. There must be some standup comedian you enjoy. Although if you say "Jim Jefferies" I will scone you u fucken cunt. I cannot stand that bloody guy. A charlatan.
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fuckface
will gargle nuts for more nuts
hey there
Posts: 619
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Post by fuckface on Feb 8, 2022 7:54:10 GMT
i fucking love jim jefferies, one of nz's finest...oh, hang on...
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fuckface
will gargle nuts for more nuts
hey there
Posts: 619
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Post by fuckface on Feb 8, 2022 8:20:26 GMT
just goo-gl'd jim jefferies...that was one minute of my life i never want back. that shit is stink bro. ugh, fuck, i may never forgive you dawley!
and yes, deciding i hate this guy after one minute on y/tube was completely fair.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Feb 8, 2022 9:09:55 GMT
He's very popular, the seppos just love him. But as a fellow antipodean I can see right through his schtick. Hard to find the phrase for what he's doing. A version of "mansplaining" but as a sort of self-anointed colonial envoy. Fucked if I know. Colonysplaining?
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Post by Ladyfingers on Feb 8, 2022 9:55:33 GMT
Jefferies stole a whole Stanhope joke and went woke after getting in with Hollywood. I used to enjoy him but I lost all respect for him.
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fuckface
will gargle nuts for more nuts
hey there
Posts: 619
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Post by fuckface on Feb 8, 2022 10:02:10 GMT
...what i call a "professional aussie".
wiki says he has a degree in musical theatre...and it shows. so easy to see right thru his shitty sham act.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Feb 8, 2022 12:37:02 GMT
Doug Stanhope, now there's a comedian I do not get.
Somehow he seems to be racked with self-doubt yet utterly sure of his comic awesomeness all at the same time. ShrugMcGee
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Post by Ladyfingers on Feb 9, 2022 0:10:28 GMT
Doug Stanhope, now there's a comedian I do not get. Somehow he seems to be racked with self-doubt yet utterly sure of his comic awesomeness all at the same time. Eh? Stanhope's never struck me as wracked with anything. The guy is 100% hilarious.
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