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Post by Sprague Dawley on Jun 15, 2021 12:31:07 GMT
Changing my opinion on the poles... Mother of God.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Jun 16, 2021 7:53:12 GMT
Portugal: 3 Hungary:0
Missed most of this. Fucking MASSIVE crowd. Not a single shit given about the Rona in Budapest.
Portugal go the Spain route with endless fucking dicking around on halfway. Fucken nil-all until the last bloody 5 minutes.
Portugits rugger jerseys looked pretty rad.
Claymation puttyhead Ronaldo not up to much.
Pepe looks like the first henchman to get shot in every action movie.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Jun 16, 2021 9:56:26 GMT
France: 1 Germany: 0
The Reichstag in ruins. Again. Another bloody capitulation from the hun.
Good watch though. Both teams attacking. Unlike those cagey fucking chickenshit wankers from Espanola and Ronaldoland.
German coach looks like the sort of bloke who would have absolutely zero qualms about opening the valve for the Zyklon B and then turning around straight away and saying what no it wasn't me no I never.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Jun 18, 2021 9:28:33 GMT
Holland: 2 Austria: lucky to get zero
The Dutch didnt even have to fucken do anything here.
Omfg Austria would have to be the most infuriating team in the whole tournament. All the nice passing but they must be ALLERGIC to the grass in the penalty area. "Ohh, no, no, I would never go in there, I'm allergic to the specific strain of grass in the penalty area. I would never go in there" says your average Austrian player. "I heard the grass is green because it's covered in boogers" says another mental fucking Austrian.
You know that penalty area place? You know whats in there right? THE FUCKING GOAL. You know, that place where you register POINTS. Here's some extremely hi-tech tactical advice for fucking free, HOW ABOUT KICKING THE BALL TOWARDS THE FUCKING GOAL. WHO KNOWS, THE CUNT MIGHT EVEN GO IN THE GOAL AND YOUR NATION GETS AWARDED 1 POINT. WHO FUCKEN KNEW. If you dont even try its never goign to fucking go in the goal. Clueless cunts.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Jun 18, 2021 10:41:22 GMT
Belgits: 2 Danes: 1
Danes best player Mr heart attack guy didnt even fucken front up for this match. Probably lolling about the hospital playing grabarse with the nurses. Way to leave your teammates in the lurch. Again. Where's your viking spirit ya sook.
And the Danes lose again. No thanks to Mr best player and his big fucken hollywood cry-for-attention "heart attack"
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Jun 19, 2021 5:24:07 GMT
Scotland:0 England:0
Ref had the crazy eyes. A few times I thought he was going to punch some scotch cunt right in the fucken head.
Whatever Grealish is doing with his hair is a red card offense. Followed by a lengthy suspension and the required suppliage of a handwritten note of apology walking us through what the fuck he was even thinking with that sissy nancy-boy fop
Dont understand why players give up so easily when defenders shadow the ball over the byline. If it's me I'm strafing both the cunts achilles and he's never walking again. Sow the seeds of doubt for the next time that 60kg tuff guy wants to try that "body shielding" bullshit with me. I am not going "around" your body, buddy. I am coming straight through and over the top and stomping your chest halfway to the Eriksen ward. Respect Through Fear.
I'm guessing UK blogosphere is going into meltdown right about now. Good. Might have to pop in for a browse. It's England's national pastime to revel in putting the boot into the national footie team when they fuck the whole tournament thing up every 2 years and, frankly, given their cloud-laden mindset and generally caustic comportment, it's what they excel at best.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Jun 20, 2021 7:00:40 GMT
Hungary: 1 France: 1
WFT is "Hungary".
I have thought of this country maybe 3 times in my entire life.
France has got the art, the food, all that famous shit.
What about Hungary?
What is their famous food? Probably some stupid Snot Ghoulash on Bread or something revolting.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Jun 21, 2021 7:52:45 GMT
Germany: 4
Portugal: 2
It is teutonic efficiency and attack mode and toy with the disorganised children of failed Brazilian. Again and again we attack their throat, violate their life with blood mixed with shit mixed with blood mixed with shit, and again we attack, to be of the Nationalmannschaft is to punish and punish and punish until all is blood and all is red and master race is unified and on point and WE MUST NEVER, EVER, EVER, LET THEM FORGET OUR PRIVILEGED PLACE IN HISTORY, TOGETHER WE MARCH FORTH INTO BATTLE UND LOCK STEP JACKBOOTED IN TEUTONIC PRECISION UNTIL ALL THE IMPURE CASTES HAVE FALLEN AND THE BLOOD OF THE RHEIN LAND IS AVENGED.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Jun 21, 2021 7:53:24 GMT
Wales: 0 Italy: 1
These 1st round games played at about 70% intensity are starting to get on my tits.
A brilliant idea I just had to solve the issue of parked bus defenses; each team is required to keep a minimum of 3 players in the opposing half at all times. There, that wasn't so hard was it. I've just opened up the game up to a whole new frontier of excitement. You're welcome.
Classic from the commentator: "His dad was a real predator".
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Post by passportsworkvisas on Jun 22, 2021 9:06:48 GMT
Germany: 4
Portugal: 2
It is teutonic efficiency and attack mode and toy with the disorganised children of failed Brazilian. Again and again we attack their throat, violate their life with blood mixed with shit mixed with blood mixed with shit, and again we attack, to be of the Nationalmannschaft is to punish and punish and punish until all is blood and all is red and master race is unified and on point and WE MUST NEVER, EVER, EVER, LET THEM FORGET OUR PRIVILEGED PLACE IN HISTORY, TOGETHER WE MARCH FORTH INTO BATTLE UND LOCK STEP JACKBOOTED IN TEUTONIC PRECISION UNTIL ALL THE IMPURE CASTES HAVE FALLEN AND THE BLOOD OF THE RHEIN LAND IS AVENGED. This is the kind of insightful commentary I come back for.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Jun 22, 2021 9:34:59 GMT
Can't even imagine the wank about Ronaldo over there in Portugal, the dude must be like Lebron, Brad Pitt and Obama combined. Who the fuck else comes from Portugal?
We need more posts from you EJ, pull finger, c**t.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Jun 24, 2021 21:51:49 GMT
Oh shit. Knockout round last 16 is ENGLAND v GERMANY.
And dont they have some history!
Hope the krauts rock up in that head-to-toe black SS gestapo kit again.
"OHHHHH, SO YOU SAY WE ARE THE BADDIES? WELL, YES... WELL... PERHAPS WE ARE, SCHWEINHUND ENGLANDER. BLACKNESS IS IN OUR HEARTS, AS YOU WELL KNOW FROM HISTORY, HEARTS AS BLACK AS THE SHOWERS AT NIGHT THAT WASHED THE IMPURE SCUM FROM THE RHEINLAND, AS BLACK AS THE CHARRED ASHES OF THE BELSEN FLAMES OF RIGHTEOUS SELECTION, OHHHHH WE ARE THE BADDIES ALRIGHT, ENGLANDER".
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Jun 24, 2021 22:23:01 GMT
"...AND SOON EVERYTHING WILL GO BLACK FOR YOU TOO ENGLANDER, AS BLACK AS THE NIGHTS OVER LONDON AS WE STRAFED YOUR LILY-WHITE HEARTS WITH EXPLOSIVE BLITKKKRIEG TIDINGS, AGAIN AND AGAIN, BLACK WAVES OF JUSTICE, UN GUNN TAMARAN, MEIN OWN JUDGE, MEIN OWN JURY, MEIN OWN EXECUTIONER, SIEG HEIL ALL ENGLANDER, AND LET THE BLACKNESS TAKE YOU UNDER AS THE MIGHT OF THE BLACK-BEDECKED RHEINLAND SWEEPS YOUR HOPES AND DREAMS OUT, OUT, OUT INTO THE PITCH-BLACK SEA OF A WATERY GRAVE".
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Jun 26, 2021 0:06:43 GMT
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Jul 4, 2021 11:24:01 GMT
What the hell, I've got that Fall cassette
Ethpagnola: 1 (PK) Swiss: 1
Dogshit match, dogshit teams, both goals tinpot deflections then 3 hours later the inevitable PK shootout then none of the gimpy-legged Swiss spackers could even get a fucken penalty to go in.
Fuck Spain, right up their sunny sperm-stained clackas.
Ingerland: 4 Yuckraine:0
LOLL@Ukraine.
This one seemed like it was going to be another boring 1-0 doddle for England after the early goal but then they realised the dumb failed Russkis had NO IDEA how to defend crosses and smelled the blood in the water and went berko with a dozen raging little Jack the Ripper stiffies.
Jordan Henderson's goal celebration for #4 was pretty embarrassing. Dude. Act like you've been there before.
Have it on very good authority that in the wake of this debacle, Putin has decided not to invade Ukraine. "They are disgrace to Russian family tree. Their loser semen would soil great majesty of CCCPcc. Fuck the Ukraine. All Ukraine men are homosexualle ladymen of The Night Of A Thousand Failed Erections".
Italy: 2 Belgits: 1
The Roman industry paved too many routes to goal for the liqueur-brained Belgits to cope with. Roman aquaducts, Belgian beer, Roman-nosed sentries, melted Belgian chocolate dreams fuckit can't be arsed tying these themes together into a passable parable ffs no one's read this far anyway
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Jul 6, 2021 23:41:47 GMT
Ethpagnola 1 Italia 1 (PK)
LLLOOOOLLLLLL@ Ethpagnola, keep the ball for 65 million hours then forget to score. Just a crying shame for them the sport's rules require the netting of the ball in order to register points. If only points were awarded for the aimless accumulation of successful passes amongst yourselves FUKK OFF u pedro-faced paella-prodding cuntz LOLL U FUKKKINGGG LOOOOOOST
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Jul 7, 2021 21:44:55 GMT
Ingerland: 2 Danmark: 1
Can't believe VAR gave the decisive pen AFTER the slowmo showed Sterling diving like so much estrogen-enraged kindling.
Turns out I dont know what a foul is in el futbole.
OMFG that commentator "Peter Drury", FFS, what an overwrought wuss. I had to mute the cunting telly just to shut the swooning cravat-faced pansyman up.
Far be it from me to wish ill will upon any of God's loving creatures but I sincerely hope "Peter Drury" catches Little Stevie Hawkings disease and his histrionic wailing voice is forever relegated to the monotony of Stevie's voicebox LOL let's hear about your "compassion and humanity" then you trickling shart seepage.
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sukebegg
Whacked it raw to Schindler's List
熟女の力
Posts: 857
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Post by sukebegg on Jul 8, 2021 10:06:39 GMT
ah ~ I think I watched the same ~ annoying partisanship by that prat, but still, some unbelievable decisions. Denmark really lost the plot though but I still wish they would have kept the golden goal rule and end the game with the OT goal. Italians will come with the spikes out but that could work to their disadvantage. Best hope is a draw and Eng losing in penalties...
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Jul 12, 2021 0:46:02 GMT
How To Win The World Cup In 2030.--by World Football Mastermind Coach Gareth Southgate.
Hi everyone. World Football Mastermind Coach Gareth Southgate here. Today, I will take you through the easy steps towards England winning the World Cup in 2030. Tonight, in the Euro 2020 Final, I laid the seeds for this glorious 2030 coronation during that fertile and febrile juncture of germination, the penalty shootout. Yes, I chose England's idiotic penalty-taking lineup on purpose. It was intentional sabotage. I needed to get all the young kids familiar with the national trauma of failing at these penalty shootout things, like I went through in 1996. This will strengthen the failing penalty takers resolve further down the line. Resilience Through Adversity.
Respect Through Fear.
Strength Through Respect.
Respect Through Resilience.You see? In 2030, two World Cup cycles from now, the traumatised young English players will have the drive for redemption to win the World Cup. I am playing the long game here. You'll thank me 8 years from now England, mark my words! Now then, let's dissect the forensic nuts and bolts as to exactly how I laid the brilliant groundwork for 2030 World Cup Glory tonight in the penalty shootout vs Italy. 1st penalty taker: Captain Harry Kane. He always scores his penalty shots so I didn't want him to go last! No thank you! Captain scores first, thus raising everyone's hopes. "Yes! Yes! We are going to win!" No. It's a false dawn I have carefully orchestrated using masterly strategic brilliance. You have to build them up before you break them down. That's Coaching 101. 2nd penalty taker: any boofhead defender. hopefully the penalty missing starts here. 3rd penalty taker: any dozey puttyhead off the bench will do. Kid will be so rusty and stiff there's no way he'll score. DO NOT choose senior, experienced team members. They might score! 4th penalty taker: repeat. another klutz dragged off the bench. 5th penalty taker: for this climactic denouement, pick the youngest kid in the team to take the most decisive penalty and obviously shit his pants and stuff it all up. Why? Because he's the most likely to be around in 2030! By then he will be burning with the aggrieved fire of redemption, raging with the ire of restitution. So that's how I did it! England in 2030! --G.Southgate.
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sukebegg
Whacked it raw to Schindler's List
熟女の力
Posts: 857
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Post by sukebegg on Jul 12, 2021 5:06:30 GMT
It's not coming home, is it?
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sukebegg
Whacked it raw to Schindler's List
熟女の力
Posts: 857
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Post by sukebegg on Jul 13, 2021 8:06:45 GMT
(Surely England will turn it around and parlay it into a win in Qatar next year ~ then again, it will probably be played by computer game over Zoom as the world waits for the 28th Covid booster...)
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Jul 13, 2021 9:17:03 GMT
That's a mighty fine plan, Jimbo, 22, of Bristol.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Jul 15, 2021 3:11:21 GMT
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sukebegg
Whacked it raw to Schindler's List
熟女の力
Posts: 857
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Post by sukebegg on Jul 18, 2021 11:31:59 GMT
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Jul 19, 2021 0:39:56 GMT
Keep these articles coming squire. I read every one you post. In fact, my skull-brained noggin is relying on YOU to keep it informed of all the horrid bollox happening worldwide. Sounds like some people are having it tough out there! Being the terrible shit human I am, my first impulse is always to turn everything into a tasteless laugh; my default setting when reading bad news is to hold my palms up to the sky and say "how is this my fault?"
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Post by fuckface on Jul 23, 2021 12:58:40 GMT
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sukebegg
Whacked it raw to Schindler's List
熟女の力
Posts: 857
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Post by sukebegg on Jul 25, 2021 8:20:01 GMT
GB quotes:
I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered. I used to go missing a lot... Miss Canada, Miss United Kingdom, Miss World. I've stopped drinking, but only while I'm asleep. In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Jul 25, 2021 10:45:18 GMT
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Aug 1, 2021 21:10:32 GMT
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sukebegg
Whacked it raw to Schindler's List
熟女の力
Posts: 857
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Post by sukebegg on Aug 17, 2021 7:57:09 GMT
Thank god EPL is back! Another month of severe lockdown but inshallah, I shall be watching Boxing Day matches in a social setting... Sent to an Arse fan friendo:
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