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Post by Sprague Dawley on Apr 20, 2021 5:13:24 GMT
R.I.P UK Soccer
As a study in pure, naked, open greed it's been fascinating reading about the ructions in UK soccer at the prospect of the "Big 6" pommy teams breaking away to join a 20 team euro super league.
15 "founder" sides who can never be relegated and 5 other euro sides a year who can qualify annually? The bigwig owner cunts even openly tweeted out "we need to increase our revenues, the benefit of the sport itself is secondary"
Again, there must've been some radio rental Logan Roy-style "Succession" Zoom meetings that went on between the 12 or so billionaire owners for us to get this far....
"Wait... did anyone tell our players about this new league?" "Fuck no." "Those dago cunts work for us" "They are our chatteled cattle" "They'll do what they're fucking told if they want to keep getting paid" "Useless wetback fucks" "Once we get the US-style salary cap in place we can pay those cunts even less and keep more $$ for ourselves" "Fuck yeah" "Won't the fans go mental at all this?" "Fuck them" "The pandemic showed we no longer need those cunts in the stands" "TV rights to Asia, Africa and North America baby." "That's where the money is" "Temporary pain for some limey fucks in Hackney is a small price to pay for us all getting rich as shiiiiiiiiit" "Fuck Hackney " "Don't announce a fucking thing until all 12 founder franchises have signed." "By then it'll be too late" "Haha" "What happens if the players listen to the fans and don't want to play for our big teams anymore?" "The money will be fucking enormous" "Too much money for the dumb fuck players to refuse" "Wait on... the founder teams get 310 million pound squid p/a guaranteed... but only 30 mill if they actually win the fucking competition?" What incentive is there to even try then? " "Who let this commie cunt in the room?" "Fuck off Sergei" "We're doing it NBA-style, shithead" "Check out this fucking anti-american commie cuntshart" "I'm not a communist but isn't it weird if a shitty qualifier like Leicester manages to win the whole thing they get less than HALF what a Barca gets just for turning up and losing every weekend?" "Fuck you" "Check out Vlad the fucking Unabomber over here" "Cunt" "Fucking commie" "It'll work. We pull up the ladder behind us. UK Division 1 will just be Everton and Fulham and Burnley and those sad local fucks. No glamour matchups. " "Ergo, no cunt will watch" "Ergo, no broadcasting money." "Ergo, fuck yeah we win" "Who wants to see Manchester United versus some dogshit little tinpot no-name local hovel team like "Burnley" or "Fulham"?" "Big boys vs big boys every week!" "Asian kids on youtube, that's the target market." "Billions of the half-blind little noodle-armed shitheads" "Fuck some dreary old dying pommy fans in Fulham" "Billions of Africans" "Fuck yeah, each team can ring-in a couple of gook players or African fuckwits" "All the new Asians and African fans will have new favourite teams then" "Ching ching motherfucker" "Pay per view in Wuhan baby" "We're going viral! "Tik Tok that shit up!" "How about e-sports tie-ins?" "Fuck yeah. How about e-sports holograms of players on the actual pitch?" "Controlled by the fans." "Love it" "I'm touching my hologram boner right now" "Can I touch it?" "Fuck yeah, touches for everyone"
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Post by sukebegg on Apr 20, 2021 9:24:58 GMT
Qatar will hopefully be a disaster. This new super league shite pales in comparison to the grafty greed plus full-on worker (slave) murder of the next World Cup...If it goes off I'm done...or maybe I'll stick to the local league and become even more of an alcoholic...
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Apr 20, 2021 9:43:55 GMT
Wild how many ways it could play out. - 1 or 2 of the teams succumb to the fan/media pressure and lose their nerve and try to slink back to their local leagues? "Haha, just a misunderstanding, we were just uhhh exploring our options... for um.... for our shareholders"
- If just ONE of the BIG players - a Messi etc - comes out and says "yeah nah this sucks, I retire" won't the whole charade just collapse?
- UEFA bans all Super League participants from being selected for their national teams? New Zealand are crowned World Cup Champions in Qatar.
- Pommy top 6 get punished with relegation to the UK bottom tier? They say fine fuckit and use Div 4 as an Under18 academy. Anfield has Saturday crowds of 600 as the junior boys take on Torquay Utd... then midweek it's packed with 70,000 as the top team play Real Madrid...
Oops, surely the billionaire owners and their millionaire lawyers thought this wee bit through...
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Apr 20, 2021 22:59:05 GMT
Wild how many ways it could play out. - 1 or 2 of the teams succumb to the fan/media pressure and lose their nerve and try to slink back to their local leagues? "Haha, just a misunderstanding, we were just uhhh exploring our options... for um.... for our shareholders"
I could write this shit. LOL, that was quick, all over now. Chelsea got cold feet after a bloke with a cardboard sign protests outside Stamford Bridge and the team capitulate. The rest of the teams follow suit. FFS. The drama is over. The bigwigs hadn't thought the big brave gambit through AT ALL. "Punish the teams with fines and transfer bans and relegation etc"
Like fuck. The whole shebang went from screaming birth to simpering death in only 48 hours. Media/fans etc will be back sucking on the big boys teat in half that time. "Just a misunderstanding, it was the villainous American owners who tried to force us into it, Sir..."Gonna be a great movie though. Perfect baddies in the radio rentally out-of-touch seppo owners I want Les Grossman as one of the Glazers
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Apr 21, 2021 11:47:09 GMT
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Post by sukebegg on Apr 25, 2021 0:50:20 GMT
Welp...
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Apr 25, 2021 2:02:29 GMT
What an awesome villain. I can't even think of an evil enough cunt to play him in the movie. Maybe they'll have to marionette his part in and just use the baddie from the Thunderbirds telly show "No, Chelsea Football Club... no, you are not free to leeeeaaave..."
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Post by sukebegg on Apr 25, 2021 12:13:43 GMT
"Now that I have eliminated that slug Mourinho...European Foosball es miiiooooo!!" My friend Gary...Gunston... I suppose I should thank the Googley Five Eyes AI for putting this in my feed: That's basically the opposite side of the country, but we have endless third-wave coffee, speakeasy cocktail bars, and microbrew down here so it is no surprise Kim in Mo Tuc enjoys her EPL on a Saturday evening, hopefully tucking into some delicious pork and quaffing cobra infused "whiskey"... They don't ask the women about Giggsy though... Wales national football coach Ryan Giggs charged with assault of two women, will not coach team at Euro 2020 finals www.abc.net.au/news/2021-04-24/wales-football-coach-ryan-giggs-charged-with-assault-of-women/100092912Oddly enough, I have a Giggsy story. August 2016 - transiting in the Singapore airport ~ off to somewhere really fucking nice actually. I realize I need some shower/beach slippers, so go into the Adidas store and the clerk points to some Man United ones, so I try to make a failed joke: "Oh no I couldn't be seen in those..." Walked out, got a coffee and I was strolling back past the shop, when I see Giggsy in that same little Adidas shop! A young man grabs him for a selfie and Giggsy scrambles off right after. I was actually blanking on his name so I go up to the young man, "Was that...?" "Yeah, Ryan Giggs!" I smile and give him a thumbs up, immediately imagining that if only for a few minutes, he could of heard my tepid put-down. Who knows though ~ here is his history up to July 2016 Moyes in fifth with the Hammers ffs!
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Apr 25, 2021 22:43:47 GMT
Haha, Mourinho looking absolutely shattered at his latest sacking. A disconsolate wreck. He's sitting down to dress. And he's a mess. Just a holocaust.
ELATED at yet another multimillion pound squid early contract severance payout. FSF he's probably still getting the Chelse and Man U severance cheques in the mail. What a beautiful grift.
Giggs is rooted now jobwise. Bashing up the ladies and fucking his brothers wife. Awkward family get-togethers. Guessing he saved enough bajillions from his playing days to be no-fucks-given though.
It's all in his eyes. He has the look of a wild stoat whose default mode is attack.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Apr 29, 2021 4:29:53 GMT
Prison Baddies XICriteria: notoriety. Football ability: n/a. need some spots filled. - only infamous pricks.
- should all be household names.
- no serial killers, no publicity for those dorks
1 2 P.Spector. nasty little fullback 3 4 B.Cosby. virtually immobile these days. 5 6 C.Manson. amped-up little midfielder, tirelessly nipping at heels 7 G.Maxwell. hopelessly flighty winger. just decorates the game really. 8 9 R.Kelly. big target man up front. not afraid of getting, uhh, physical. 10 11 O.Pistorius. no blades, just a sort of pathetic decoy stationed out on the wing On-deck scouting report:
R.Guiliani D.Trump R.Giggs Recently "dropped":
B.Madoff J.Epstein
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Post by sukebegg on Apr 30, 2021 10:20:32 GMT
Top squad! Bolsonaro and Modi (although he will have to play with a cricket bat) would be good additions... Speaking of Villains...First, I did not even know Arse was owned by these guys: Explains why Arsenal is now a middling club below Leeds ffs!* www.skysports.com/football/news/11670/12289476/arsenal-spotify-owner-daniel-ek-to-present-very-compelling-offer-to-kroenke-familyAnd now, say wot, the Spotify Swedish billionaire! It's too rich...the question is, can Joe Rogaine kick a football? Arsenal's first 100 million dollar signing! Has a rotund drug-gut midget physique similar to Maradona actually... *Bielsa popped up in the Mexican league when I lived there and had just recently gotten into the sport. He went from a very minor team to the top team in the league after two seasons. If he puts Leeds atop Arse this year, it would be kinda neat, Leedshit aside..
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Apr 30, 2021 22:46:26 GMT
Bolsonaro and Modi would surely be longshots to be imprisoned but it would be rad as hell therefore added those pricks to on-deck. Oh shit, P.Spector and C.Manson carked it a couple of years ago. Dropped! 1. Bruno. murderous Brazilian was actually his national teams goalkeeper! Still only 36, a welcome addition to this hopelessly unco team. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bruno_(footballer,_born_1984) Actually he might not have the name recognition required to keep his spot here... 2. El Chapo. fuck yeah. just try it cunt. go on, have a go. 3. 4. B.Cosby. virtually immobile these days. 5. Harvey Weinstein. centre back on the same "wavelength" as the Cos, cock-crimewise. 6. 7. G.Maxwell. hopelessly flighty winger. just decorates the game really. 8. 9. R.Kelly. big target man up front. not afraid of getting, uhh, physical. 10. Joe Exotic. showboating number 10 11. O.Pistorius. no blades, just a sort of pathetic decoy stationed out on the wing On-deck scouting report:
R.Guiliani D.Trump R.Giggs P.Andrew Bolsonaro Modi Recently "dropped":
B.Madoff J.Epstein
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Post by sukebegg on May 2, 2021 10:28:53 GMT
I guess my stoned-ass mind skipped over that detail, or I imagined Modi and Bolsonaro already in jail for genocide, but I guess you need a final body count to convict on that crime... And this: Even my wife proclaimed, "There is no reason to ever go back to India..." so it can implode into its medieval caste system. Sri Lanka was like a chill version of India, and I have a good friend living there, so I hope it doesn't spread over there although they could be looking at a massive refugee crisis from India as this thing spirals (if things are as dire as being reported)... Yeah, sorry, I know: Save it for the Cricket thread!
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Post by sukebegg on May 3, 2021 9:37:57 GMT
Oh, I thought there was some Mandela Affect that made me imagine there should be a score for MU-LIV match...
And both teams get a record out of it? Fantastic...
Hope the lads got to stick their black-laced Docs in....
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Post by Sprague Dawley on May 4, 2021 0:42:14 GMT
Feral pommy soccer fans are so fucking sad. Always cringe when they show the fans in the stands on telly. Bug-eyed screaming their sad little spittle-flecked brains out at an opposing player taking a corner.
Really, you would bash some random enemy fans head in in the Torquay United parking lot because he's not a "fan" of the same team as you? The Torquay United organisation don't give a flying fuck about you buddy.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on May 7, 2021 0:28:34 GMT
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Post by sukebegg on May 26, 2021 2:50:16 GMT
Kinda forgot the Euros are this year and they are going to try to play the Copa America, delayed from last year but...
Just move it to Japan also ~ what's a few extra furriners, the JOC has created a smoothly efficient machine that will surely dazzle the world in just a few months time!
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Post by Sprague Dawley on May 26, 2021 3:15:47 GMT
Just move it to Japan also ~ what's a few extra furriners, the JOC has created a smoothly efficient machine that will surely dazzle the world in just a few months time!
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Post by Sprague Dawley on May 26, 2021 12:30:18 GMT
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Jun 6, 2021 4:12:44 GMT
Euro 96
Randomly just watched highlights hour of all 64 goals. Never watched a single second of the tournament back in 96. - In highlights format, it soon became sadly apparent that most goals were penalty area dives. PK converted, final score 1-0. Thanks for coming, cunts. Either that or a penalty shootout after 3 hours of cagey, petrified, pitter-patter and some poor cunt fluffs his lines and gets rewarded with a lifetime of traumatising ignominy. 96 Euros = Gareth Southgate
- "Suker" (poor fucker) from Croatia or some place had some outrageous moments.
- The long-haired men of Portugal were ridiculously sexy. The 90's, long haired men, no manbuns
- Judging by the stadiiii, society was WEIRDLY different back in 1996. Before the internet shattered all of our lives into 10 billion, billion, trillion irretrievable pieces and caused us to each retreat inside into our withering private halls of axiomatic hate.
- Sunny day games, joyous fans faces, costumes, PACKED stadiiii. An utterly terrifying throng of humanity. All PACKED in RIGHT the fuck next to each other, sometimes KISSING rando strangers. Fans going absolutely bug-eyed BERSERK about exploits on the pitch, almost like it meant something to them personally. Not one morbid expressionless Jurgen missing the entire moment due to him holding his fucking SMARTPHONE up in the air to chronicle him missing the point for all eternity.
tl/dr; in the end, everyone had their fun and games at the 96 Euros but their hopes and dreams are dashed and, as usual, the Germans quietly won.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Jun 12, 2021 12:40:43 GMT
Euro 2021
The Italian men, not as handsome or stylish as previous editions. Some would struggle to look suave and self-assured while sitting at tables in their silly little Roman cafes and ordering their silly little coffees.
The Turkish men, kebab-faced terrorists.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Jun 13, 2021 4:34:34 GMT
Wales: 1 Switzerland: 1
Swiss had a few BLECK blokes in their side. Not a proponent of racial purity but whatever happened to racial purity?
Never seen a match with VAR. I thought it was supposed to be shit? Only used once and resolved the issue in seconds. Plus opposing teams fans get to celebrate other team losing a goal after the fans of the team losing the goal had just finished their ebullient celebration. Double celebration. Compared to VAR clusterfuck in rugby where the match is stopped for 8 minutes every 5 mins while some twat in a booth goes back 3 minutes looking for a guy scratching his bum.
First 70 mins Wales were unco shit. They looked like 2 good players in the New Zealand team.
The Welsh coach looks like the guy who tries to start shit at the pub.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Jun 13, 2021 6:19:23 GMT
Denmark: 0
Finland: 1
One of the Danes took diving to a new level by trying to actually fake his own heart attack halfway through the game. Of course, he had to go through with the game-changing ruse and get himself carted off to hospital. He was the Danes best player. The Danes lost 0-1. Safe to say the whole thing backfired a bit. No wonder the Vikings reign didn't last.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Jun 13, 2021 8:24:53 GMT
Belgium: 3
USSR: 0
Couple of defensive fuckups from the Russkis and that was that. The #1 ranked Belgits get to stroke the ball around like boring cunts and run out the clock. Those 2 stupid Russkis should be halfway to the salt mines by now.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Jun 13, 2021 23:23:42 GMT
England: 1 Croatia: 0
Frantic pommy-style start, then settled down into turgid tedium, then Eng got The Goal and the game shutdown into hospice care mode. Fuck me that was an un-intense 2nd half. Like a preseason friendly. Talk about low energy.
This fuckhead system of virtually every team qualifying for 2nd round has to go.
Mother of God, give me strength! Bent coppers!
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Jun 14, 2021 9:26:59 GMT
North Macedonia: 1 Austria: 3 The fuck am I watching this shit for. Had never even heard of a single player. Shamefully, it took me 20 minutes to work out which team was which. Quite rooting Austria's green and black liquorice allsort strip. Very tasty. Wouldnt mind some liquorice allsorts now. Can't think why. WFT is "North Macedonia"? Can't keep up with this eastern europe tinpot warlord rubbish. Entertaining match though. Not much of that too-kool-4-skool stuffing around on halfway trying to run down the clock malarkie.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Jun 14, 2021 11:26:15 GMT
Ukraine: 2 Holland: 3Fairly epic match. Valuable lessons in life for the decorative Dutch: - Never get in a fight with a Russian
- A Russian is never beaten.
Disappointed the commentators didnt shoehorn in a "haha, is that Hunter Biden's laptop I see over there in the Ukraine dugout?" Opportunity missed. I would've been an awesome commentator. Until I was fired. At halftime.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Jun 15, 2021 9:48:23 GMT
Scotland: 0 Czech: 2
Scroteland were a bit shit. Unco rabble really. None of that stroking it around midfield carry-on like them classy fellas do. Just gung-ho billy big bollox and clatter into some prick. Great noise from the 500 drunken highland men in attandance though. LMFAO@ the scotch goalie scoring a goal with his body into his own net. Good to see a Nesbit on the bench. Rab C, always was quality. Had to wait a fair while for the callup, credit to the lad for sticking at it. England will smash the living shit out of the Scots. Put me down for 7-0. It will be like Man U playing Partick Thistle or some crap
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Jun 15, 2021 10:01:08 GMT
Poland: 1 Slovakia: 2
WFT is a "Slovakia"? Who gives a shit about all these failed little dogshit Euro offshoots. Slovakia, Slovenia, Belarus, Lithuanksi, ffs. Just all merge into Russia and be done with it. Fucking "Belarus". The fuck is that.
Poor poles. Never can catch a break. Cucks of the world. The Germans will probably be along shortly to laughingly Lucy/Charlie Brown their football into a big fucking oven again.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Jun 15, 2021 12:29:16 GMT
LMFAO@ the scotch goalie scoring a goal with his body into his own net. Look at this poor dishevelled Scotch cunt. He doesnt even know where he fucking is. Sky high on paint thinner or some rubbish from the Trainspotting film.
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