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Post by Sprague Dawley on May 10, 2022 1:00:48 GMT
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Post by fuckface on May 11, 2022 4:18:38 GMT
Japanese Food
People wank on and on and on about how awesome Japanese food is.
I'm not fucken having it.
Most of it is deeply unhealthy and often just flat-out fucken revolting.
TL/DR I am so fucking bad at being in Japan.
Let's Review;
Tofu.
Disgusting. A tasteless white slab of wobbly snot. Not fucken eating this.
Miso soup.
AKA Snot Soup. Fuck off with this shit. It's not food, it's just a puddle of wet brown bullshit.
Umeboshi
An impossibly sour shrivelled plum gonad. Some sort of punishment from the samurai days, fucked if I know. Not food.
Sushi.
Sushi is fine and a big fuck yeah. Fuck off with the Snot Soup and get the sushi on.
Tempura.
A fucking joke of a food. A tiny piece of pumpkin or some shit that is deep fried in a massive casing of crusty batter. It's just 90% solidified cooking oil. This shit will kill you. Healthy food my black arse.
Soba
Revolting tasteless spaghetti. No taste.
Udon
Revolting tasteless spaghetti. No taste.
Oden
Boiled eggs and radish floating about in a puddle of tasteless hot water. Fucking terrible. Not eating this shit.
Nabe
Nabe = Pot. Yep, just any rando shit thrown in a pot with hot water. Fuck this floaty bullshit.
Natto
Rotten beans. Obviously not food. It's gone rotten you stupid cunts. Throw it out.
Tonkatsu
Deep-fried pork on rice. Japanese food is so healthy. This shit will kill you.
Mochi
Sugared rice that's been kneaded into the consistency of a melted eraser. Inedible. This is the shit that old cunts choke on and die from every New Years. LOL.
Okonomiyaki
Pizza sized pancake of half-raw flour covered in dead squid and mayonnaise. Hmmmm, delicious. Get fucked.
Yakitori
Skewered and grilled chicken bits. Can work if the fucking thing is not 86% gristle. TL/DR, it's always 86% gristle. I reckon I could make this way better than some of the insulting shit on a stick they dish up at restaurants.
Takoyaki
Half-raw flour dough balls with a tiny piece of fucking octopus inside. Hmm, what a treat. You may was well eat raw flour and a microwaved eraser. Fuck this shit.
Ramen
The wank about ramen is off the charts. After eating this with its oil and bullshit your guts will feel crook as fuck. There's a reason most Japanese people are somehow fat and skinny at the same time and I reckon it's this rubbish.
Karaage
Fried chicken. No hot water, no floaty shit, no half-raw flour. Congratulations Japan on not fucking up fried chicken. FFS.
Sukiyaki
Here we fucken go again, another pot of hot water with floating fucking vegetables. You can't taste a thing except for fucken hot water. Plus it has that see-through spaghetti bullshit that everyone avoids as they make a beeline for the salvageable bits of meat that, too late, have already been stripped of all meat taste by the stupid fucking hot water. Fuck this nonsense. Fugu exciting yet bland
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Post by Sprague Dawley on May 16, 2022 3:12:05 GMT
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sukebegg
Whacked it raw to Schindler's List
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Post by sukebegg on May 16, 2022 9:23:55 GMT
Looks like a chinpira, so you gotta wonder if he ended up trying to get protection from the yaks and they introduced him to the glass pipe (or gambling or girls), easily relieving him of the funds. I have the same moral dilemma over realizing a whole bottle of wine was left off our bill the other night. I mean, I'd want a customer to do that if I was a business owner...of course the government, the dreaded komuin, that's a different kettle of fish. How much have the non-payers of NHK ripped off over the years?
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Post by Sprague Dawley on May 16, 2022 9:50:12 GMT
The lad might look like an utter moran but has done it surprisingly well so far. Withdrawing 600k a day so as not to arouse suspicion then cancelling all his shit and vanishing.
You could say retreat to the countryside and lay low but those bored old fucks out in the boonies gossip like motherfuckers and a new twat like him would stick out like the dogs nuts. Especially cos he's under 60-years old unlike every single motherfucker left out there.
Better off laying low in Tokyo, a fahhhking massive city. Although there are cameras there....
What city in Asia would be the cheapest to live in?
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sukebegg
Whacked it raw to Schindler's List
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Post by sukebegg on May 16, 2022 13:05:49 GMT
Reasonable. I will keep a look out for those eyebrows. Viet authorities love for people to bring foreign cash in because it won't be leaving...The brother of Hide from X (Japan) runs a karaoke bar here, that might be a good place to start looking.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on May 24, 2022 0:51:38 GMT
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Post by Sprague Dawley on May 28, 2022 0:04:35 GMT
haha, these sheeple dipshits literally have to be instructed how to manage every single fucking facet of their own morbid fucking lives dont they.
You just know this one is coming.....
"Local Man Dies Of Heatstroke While Driving Alone In Car Wearing A Mask"
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Post by Sprague Dawley on May 30, 2022 0:10:36 GMT
Still see EVERYONE outdoors and in cars wearing masks.
Maybe I should do my civic doodie and start confiscating the things. Bust out my little 2 metre tape measure then just rip the fucking things right off their faces.
"You are in direct contravention of government bylaw 67a. This mask is considered by government decree to be in direct violation of heat stroke risk protocols. Please follow the rules when in Japan. Please consider this as your FINAL WARNING."
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Post by Sprague Dawley on May 30, 2022 1:43:32 GMT
japantoday.com/category/national/feature-japanese-society-begins-to-grapple-with-microaggressionsOrdinarily I would side with the "harden up cunt" crowd but being on the end of these things constantly is quite insidious. I would rather the overt "fuck off you white cunt" macro aggression than the needling "oh I wasnt trying to be racist I just am" crowd. One example was our apartment building bike storage room which suddenly had some anal wanky rule sign sprout up with an English version. I'm the only honkie in the whole building. It was clearly aimed at me although I had not broken the rule, (whatever the fuck it was). This leads the entire building to think FFS it must be the gaijin that's flouting the rule. Fucking gaijin, they come in here and break the rules. Always with the gaijin. I took the sign down and told the superintendent don't be giving me some special treatment signs that make it look like I'm the intruder breaking your prissy little anal cunt rules u fukking nazi war fukk.
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beta
today's multi-task: stretch and cough
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Post by beta on Jun 2, 2022 3:14:51 GMT
"safety country" bullshit? Fuck me fuck me fuck me. I do not miss that paranoia about, let me think, the rest of the universe.
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sukebegg
Whacked it raw to Schindler's List
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Post by sukebegg on Jun 2, 2022 9:33:22 GMT
I tried to mail three "hand towels" to a friend in the US while in Japan last month. That was fun. First took my handwritten package to a small local PO, "NOPE!" and they handed me four full-color pages explaining how to pre-register international items, one for the app, three for the website...Got the app, went to another smaller local PO and, of course, it required two people to figure out what to do but they finally announced the grand sum of 2400 yen! Fuggit, I think and hand over the money, which was about the same as the cost of the three towels...Could I have sent it as a "small packet" for much less?? It got there pretty quick, but it wasn't sent air mail??
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Jun 3, 2022 9:07:56 GMT
I tried to mail three "hand towels" to a friend in the US while in Japan last month. That was fun. First took my handwritten package to a small local PO, "NOPE!" So fucking infuriating. No more fucking handwritten addresses. How about some tourist passing through with no printer and no smartphone? They are rooted. The post office require these anal cunt address forms to be printed out yet they dont provide any printer. Just expecting every tourist cunt in the world to have a $1200 fucking smartphone and use some q code bullshit app or something. Surface mail would cost about 800 yen but taken 2 months at least. Yeah small packet airmail is the usual, wouldve cost about $12 $24 sounds like EMS FFS.
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sukebegg
Whacked it raw to Schindler's List
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Post by sukebegg on Jun 3, 2022 11:12:50 GMT
The App showed whether a PO has a printer or not, and the tiny one I went to did. But I am sure there will still be lots of tourists being treated to a show of teethy air-sucking on the part of dour JP staff..."eto...eto...NO![batsu]" It's part of the experience...
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Jun 4, 2022 0:35:29 GMT
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Jun 8, 2022 9:14:33 GMT
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sukebegg
Whacked it raw to Schindler's List
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Post by sukebegg on Jun 8, 2022 10:12:36 GMT
I always had the feeling, way before Covid, that Japanese like wearing masks. Seemed like some people would don them for whatever excuse, just to try to be that much more invisible and anonymous. I need to take a deep look at Mishima's Confessions of a Mask and see if it offers any nice support. But is Nippon doesn't seriously start to loosen up after the elections (which could install Kishida for three years) they are going to lose the plot pretty severely.
Masks were massive pre-Covid here in Vietnam because nearly everyone rides a bike and the roads are smoggy as shit. I'm still torn about wearing one when walking the dog just to keep some of that nasty dust out of my body. It was never uncommon to see people in the conbini with helmet and mask still in place...I don't think there's any governmental mask requirement or "request" here these days (unless you've got Covid, then you have to mask up and social d if you go out!) but maybe half the people I see on the streets are masked, so no one can give you side eye whatever your choice...
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Jun 8, 2022 10:50:04 GMT
Oh hell yes. I recall a couple of jnr high girls in my dropout drop-in centre hikikomori class from long before Covid who, over 2 years, NEVER ONCE took their masks off. I didnt even know what they looked like. Just a seclusion from the social mores of a horrifically exacting and prissy society that they've pretty much opted out of. Why bother. Too stressful. Just mask up and opt out.
as the article said: Plenty would wear them when they couldnt be arsed putting on makeup.
The deconscription to a regime of convivial facial expressions is an interesting one.
Pretty fucking dystopian being reduced to wearing a mask because the air itself is so dangerous its lethal to you.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Jun 9, 2022 9:43:03 GMT
another mask article, I dont care, totally done with this shit, its gone beyond the virus to mass panopticonned mentalness. japantoday.com/category/national/focus-japan's-outdoor-mask-relaxation-yet-to-filter-through Didnt realise this wee govt mandate had slipped through either; Saw an absolute SPUNK on the subway tonite, supermodel level, no mask at all. Completely confident. Fucken good on her. Maybe Japan will follow the lead of the spunks. They pretty much run the country after all. TL/DR; the spunks can save us.
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sukebegg
Whacked it raw to Schindler's List
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Post by sukebegg on Jun 10, 2022 1:49:36 GMT
Thought he was safe in those camo pants but... Japanese man arrested in Indonesia over COVID relief fraud Authorities on Indonesia’s Sumatra island arrested a Japanese fugitive accused of helping steal $7.3 million intended for small businesses in Japan hurt by the coronavirus, police said Wednesday. www.yahoo.com/news/indonesian-police-arrest-japanese-man-042636488.html
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Jun 10, 2022 11:09:04 GMT
Thought he was safe in those camo pants but... Japanese man arrested in Indonesia over COVID relief fraud Authorities on Indonesia’s Sumatra island arrested a Japanese fugitive accused of helping steal $7.3 million intended for small businesses in Japan hurt by the coronavirus, police said Wednesday. www.yahoo.com/news/indonesian-police-arrest-japanese-man-042636488.htmlStarting to think these arseholes have got the right idea. That being, a life of crime. Fuckit, nothing else to lose, fuck toiling away at some cunting job u hate, your life ebbing away in unfulfilled frustration. Go for the big fuck-you payday. Would like more stories of cuntz who got away with it...
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Jun 26, 2022 8:22:52 GMT
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Jun 28, 2022 1:45:19 GMT
not in the habit of quoting comments from the anal cuntery that is the Japan Today comments section.... but this one got me thinking:
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sukebegg
Whacked it raw to Schindler's List
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Post by sukebegg on Jun 28, 2022 12:23:24 GMT
It makes a lot of sense and goes back to what we were discussing upthread. It seems like here that it is way more likely to see a woman masked and man unmasked now. Certainly outside - the govt. did apparently rescind the mask mandate or whatever, won't be fined outside, is all it means I guess...Yep the damn commies hit people with a fine for being unmasked outside last year... Bijin Mask tho. I practiced flirting with my eyes during the Coof and now, when they get the full face of Sukebe GG, they freak. Not in a good way tho. So, flirt with the eyes, keep masks on during entire sexual encounter, and wear a condom. This new new normal is awesome.
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nikkeisindex
in the market for yet another kaftan
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Post by nikkeisindex on Jun 28, 2022 14:09:12 GMT
This is definitely another example of the kind of thing I miss not being on the ground there. Mask-bijin. Wow. It makes perfect sense in a super odd super Japanese way. This kind of pride in humility, shyness is a virtue, imperfections are cute, sure, hide most of your face, that's a culturally prized expression of attractiveness.
It's been such a big deal here, you had people decking flight attendants over masks because, freedom?
I think everyone but me should wear one. It's hot, it's humid, I'm sweaty and gross, it fogs up my glasses, I lose the ability to semi lip-read which I rely on because too much loud rock, I'm uncomfortable, I can't see, or hear, or talk -- makes it pointless to leave the house really which in fact has always been the case.
But probably does contribute to stopping the spread of the weird disease we'll live with forever, so we should all wear masks, except me, because I'm special.
Very, very special.
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sukebegg
Whacked it raw to Schindler's List
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Post by sukebegg on Jun 29, 2022 9:07:33 GMT
Sage, sage wisdom Ben! Hey, apparently it's hot there. And it's only June. I read a great comment the other day: "And this will be the coolest summer of the rest of our lives." us.yahoo.com/news/japan-swelters-worst-heatwave-since-063058656.htmlNot that Saigon is any better. Summer here is actually tempered by the rainy season, so it actually seems quite cool at times ~ especially in a breezy evening after a late-afternoon squall. But they say we are due for heavy rains this year and I was actually woken up in the middle of the night last week from the violent rain, no thunder even, just a heavy fucking downpour...Saigon has a high water level, so it is in critical danger from rising waters...And power outages in Tokyo? I was just translating some stuff for a Japanese power company today - the Japanese power industry is a mess for a bunch a reasons and will have to ramp up nuclear as much as possible, for better or worse. China is going nuts for it so maybe they could, you know, collaborate! Maskless bijin alert!
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nikkeisindex
in the market for yet another kaftan
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Post by nikkeisindex on Jun 29, 2022 11:15:11 GMT
I never really heard thunder in Tokyo, which I never even noticed til I moved back to the Midwest. Plenty of noisy God-sky anger here.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Jun 29, 2022 12:28:53 GMT
Must be ace being a chick in summer getting to wear flimsy dresses letting all that cooling breezy action waft up there all over the thighs and clacka and birthhatch.
I might identify as a chick this summer so I can go grudless. I'll be having no judgment from you transphobic cunts.
Get some cooling winds breezing up my exposed clacker and suddenly 100% aerated meat and veg.
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sukebegg
Whacked it raw to Schindler's List
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Post by sukebegg on Jun 29, 2022 13:44:12 GMT
I never really heard thunder in Tokyo, which I never even noticed til I moved back to the Midwest. Plenty of noisy God-sky anger here. We get some gnarly electrical storms here ~ great stoned entertainment although many swear by LSD also!
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beta
today's multi-task: stretch and cough
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Post by beta on Jun 30, 2022 0:37:31 GMT
I would be on a plane to Cedar Rapids if I knew there was going to be an electrical storm in three hours. That's how much I enjoy them. One of the reasons I left Kanto was the weather was so boring. Of course, the earthquakes reminded me that it also a good place not to live. Bring on the lightning, please.
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